Man, we really missed the boat on shark week. (pun intended.)
After many years of self reflection I have come to the conclusion that Jaws is to blame for my fear of the ocean. Fear is an understatement, TERROR of the ocean.
I am not bashing the movie by any means, I think the movie is a great white of a film. (ha! I did it again)
People seem to just enjoy movies and move on with their lives, not me. I may be a little sensitive to things, but movies really get to me.
I didn’t speak for a week after seeing Titanic.
I jump from my bed instead of just putting my feet down by the edge and I NEVER look under my bed! I can thank Poltergeist for that one.
I won’t go into water I can’t see the bottom of, and while I want to see the world I will leave places like the Amazon off my bucket list. Thanks Anaconda
I will never live out my dream of meeting a handsome, charming foreigner at the airport and having him sweep me off my feet and showing me some exotic city… TAKEN. No.
The desert and back woods are both things I avoid at all costs. The Hills Have Eyes and Wrong Turn.
While I’m fairly confident I would be the first person to die if there was ever a natural disaster, zombie apocalypse, pandemic, fire, plane crash or anything to do with being stranded (or in the ocean), these movies aren’t helping matters;
– The Impossible, Twister, Dante’s Peak, Deep Impact, The Day After Tomorrow…
– 28 Days Later, World War Z, I Am Legend….
– Contagion, Breakout, Children of Men…
– Backdraft, Ladder 49…
– Alive, The Grey, The Perfect Storm, White Squall, Life of Pi…
There are really too many to name. I don’t know why I keep subjecting myself to things that will only make more paranoid. Honestly, I’m only one scary movie away from needing a padded room as it is.
I hope you are reading this and saying “wow, this person is such a wuss”.
But if you are reading this thinking “I FEEL THE SAME WAY!” Well, let’s start a group then.
This blog has drifted to a completely different topic. What was I talking about again? Oh yea…
SHARK WEEK!! Sharks are real, and scary. I want nothing to do with them. They are majestic and fascinating but they will bite your limbs off, no thanks sharks.
So my advice is to stay out of the ocean, and…
cars, planes, buses, boats, beaches, tall buildings, subways, wooded areas, deserts, rivers… oh screw it we are all doomed.