Good day people of the internet.
It is an exciting day here in the Monkey House. (We usually cling to any reason to goof off or justify the special treats we give ourselves.) Today, however, we have a legitimate cause for celebration! It is our Founder, Chief, and Grand Poobah’s day of birth. Let me tell you, she is the man. (and by that I mean she is a hot piece of ass.)
As far as I’ve noticed, the older you get the more birthdays suck. You have…
less time – more responsibilities
less money- more bills
a harder time seeing and hearing – (well maybe just a harder time with all the senses)
wrinkles – and a general lack of elasticity on most body parts
things hurt – hips, feet, most joints, and depending on how many birthdays you’ve had maybe your skin… sorry, please be careful.
memory fades, food softens, you spend more time at the doctors…
the cruelest of all… the gifts get so boring. I knew I was getting older when I received new sheets for a birthday. (it has been downhill ever since)
NOT Today! We are keeping this happy birthday thing happy. While there are some downsides to aging, we strongly believe you can stay young forever. Even though our fearless leader, Raygan, is nowhere near old age, we can already tell she will be just like this lady… YES, this lady.
We encourage you to dance, sing, be goofy, laugh as often as possible, and never give into the oldness! We hope that today brings you new adventures and something to celebrate. After all, about 19 million people are having a birthday today. So we hope you all stay FOREVER YOUNG.