A cure for the Christmas blues…

Advice, Christmas, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, New Years, Posters

The holiday season is over. While the end of such a crazy time can bring feelings of peace and personal space that have been missing for at least the past three weeks, it can be hard to get back to normal. There is that twinge of sadness when the house becomes empty and all that’s left of presents is the paper they were wrapped in. There are no surprises left to give or receive.

Going from one extreme to another always requires some transitional time. And withdrawal from good hearty food, wine, gifts, family, more wine, can be dangerous when done so abruptly. So don’t let yourself or your loved ones suffer. Ease into it by giving more gifts!

Don’t let the post-holiday blues get you down. Treat – yo – self (or a friend) to something unexpected and fun.

Remember, winter can be an amazing time or it can be as depressing as jumping into a pile of yellow snow. So take it slow and buy stuff. 

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Go to http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com and cure your loved ones of their sorrows today!

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And I Quote

Christmas, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Posters

As you get older it slowly starts to become apparent that your family is crazy. The things they do and say seem so normal until you realize they aren’t. For example I just assumed using lines from movies in everyday conversation was something everyone did. It’s not.

My brothers will do their best Christopher Walken impressions while my sister and I will repeat lines from Elf or While You Were Sleeping.  I’m fairly confident my family could have whole conversations and speak in nothing but movie quotes. The holidays are the perfect time for this behavior. The whole family is together and Christmas movies are some of the most quotable ones. Lines from films that are engrained in our minds from being watched year after year.

Here are some very quotable lines from some of my traditional Christmas movies…

Home Alone (1990)

“I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead!” ———————————————————————————————————————————————

“Keep the change, ya filthy animal.”Harry: Where did he go? ———————————————————————————————————————————————

Marv: Maybe he committed suicide.

Kevin McCallister: I’m over here you big horse’s ass, come and get me before I call the police.

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Check-Out Woman: Where’s your mom?

Kevin McCallister: In the car.

Check-Out Woman: Where’s your father?

Kevin McCallister: He’s at work.

Check-Out Woman: What about your brothers and sisters?

Kevin McCallister: I’m an only child.

Check-Out Woman: Where do you live?

Kevin McCallister: I can’t tell you that.

Check-Out Woman: Why not?

Kevin McCallister: Because you’re a stranger.

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Kevin McCallister: Buzz! Your girlfriend! Woof!

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Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)

Uncle Frank McCallister: Get outta here you nosy little pervert, or I’m gonna slap you silly!

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Gangster Johnny on TV: You was here, last night too, wasn’t ya?

Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: Yes… sir, I was

Gangster Johnny on TV: You was here, and you was smoochin’ wit my brother!

Mr. Hector, Hotel Concierge: [after a pause] I’m terribly sorry, sir, I’m afraid you’re mistaken.

Gangster Johnny on TV: Don’t gimme that! You’ve been smoochin’ wit everybody! Snuffy. Al. Leo. Little Moe, with the gimpy leg. Cheeks. Boney Bob. Cliff.

Officer Cliff: [gasps] No!

[others stare at him in disguest]

Officer Cliff: It’s a lie!

Gangster Johnny on TV: I could go on forever, baby!

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Elf (2003)

Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Buddy: [phone rings, Buddy picks it up] Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Buddy: I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Buddy: What’s a Christmas Gram? I want one!

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Buddy: SANTA! OH MY GOD! SANTA’S COMING! I KNOW HIM! I KNOW HIM!

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Buddy: I’m a cotton-headed ninny-muggins.

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While You Were Sleeping (1995)

Elsie: I don’t drink anymore… I don’t drink any less, either!

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Elsie: I like Mass better in Latin. It’s nicer when you don’t know what they’re saying.

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Jack: You suck!

Peter: I suck, or the outfit sucks?

Jack: It’s a toss-up.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Elsie: Look at the bright side. He has more room in his jockey shorts.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Lucy: If you fit into my pants I will kill myself.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Midge Callaghan: These potatoes are so creamy. Mary mashed them.

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A Christmas Story (1983)

Ralphie: I want an official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!

Mrs. Parker: No, you’ll shoot your eye out.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Only one thing in the world could’ve dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.

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Mr. Parker: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.

Mother: He does not!

Mr. Parker: He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!

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Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.

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Christmas Vacation (1989)

Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?

Clark: Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Ellen: I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.

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Aunt Bethany: What’s that sound? You hear it? It’s a funny squeaky sound.

Uncle Lewis: You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.

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Ellen: Clark, I think it’d be best if everyone went home… before things get worse.

Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We’re at the threshold of hell.

———————————————————————————————————————————————

Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark?

Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights.

——————————————————————————————————————————————— Eddie: Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.

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There are not enough hours in the day to do all the movies and lines I want so feel free to leave your own favorite movie lines in the comment section!

We love you,

Le Monkey House

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

a-christmas-story-bunny-suit1

Christmas changes people. Me. Christmas changes me.

Christmas, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Posters

I like to think I have decent taste. Obviously, most people probably think that about themselves or we wouldn’t have all the tasteless things in the world. I guess what I mean is I don’t watch terrible reality TV or buy frivolous things (I’ve been in a Spencers like once, out of curiosity.) My cell phone doesn’t have a tripped out case and I sometimes get self-conscience about wearing lipstick that is too flashy. I keep things classy and as I said, in good taste.

When it gets to be this time of year, however, I go a little cray cray.

I get it in my head that, yes, I must buy that t-shirt of a tiger dressed in a suit holding a cat, because “what a laugh that will get on Christmas”. Yea, my sister does need that lotion dispenser with the long handle so you can reach the middle of your own back. Obviously, Mom couldn’t live another day without the pillow for your feet that vibrates. I will admit to actually buying each and every single one of those gifts.

Unfortunately, my bad taste and decisions don’t end there. At Christmas time there is more crap on the TV lineup than usual. I mean ABC Family does 25 days of Christmas, which basically means I will be watching absolute garbage for 25 straight days and somehow feel justified. Here are some of the gems that I have indulged in thus far… (and remember we still have 8 days to go)

-Holidaze –

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Yes, the token ice rink scene.

– The Mistle-Tones –

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Featuring the always earth shattering acting of Tori Spelling.

– Christmas Cupid-

ASHELY BENSON, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY, CHRISTINA MILIAN

With a stellar cast featuring Christina Milian and Chad Michael Murray… yes!

– Holiday in Handcuffs –

Holiday

Again, all I needed to know was who (Melissa Joan Hart & Mario Lopez) was in this and I was already hitting play.

– 12 Dates of Christmas –

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Okay. I actually liked this one. Was the story line tired? Yes. Was the acting bad? By almost everyone. But, I will support anything with the adorable Amy Adams and the man that will forever be the hottest guy in school, Zack Morris I mean… Mark-Paul Harry Gosselaar.

like a fine wine… (you are welcome ladies)

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Sorry I got a little sidetracked there. I can no longer concentrate. So here is just the titles of a few more Christmas delights to get into this year.

– A Holiday for Love (yikes.)

– Desperately Seeking Santa ( Aren’t we all?)

– Snowglobe ( Wouldn’t you know it, that Christina Milian weaseled her way into another one.)

– Teen Spirit ( Not Smells Like…)

– Santa Baby – 1&2 ( If you can stand watching loud mouth Jenny McCarthy for two movies.)

– Snow – with these two…

MV5BMTY1OTgzMjk3MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjg0MDY5MQ@@._V1_SY317_CR6,0,214,317_(who has time to find their real names?)

– Christmas Caper – (I haven’t actually seen this one, but the title looks promising.)

– Beauty & the Briefcase (with big toothed Hilary Duff)

and…

-Special Delivery (with Andy Dick, so you know it’s good)

 

 

 

When I think of Santa, my mind is flooded with happiness.  The feeling of security and warmth is tangible.    I can almost taste the candy canes and gum drops.  I can smell hot chocolate and cookies.  I can feel the tickle of of his beard and the whispering of elves.  That’s what Santa means to me.  Today, I learned this not the case for most children.  The truth is…Santa…is TERRIFYING!

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Don’t be a whiny baby.  The perfect holiday gift is already here.  Order a poster from Le Monkey House… HERE !

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“My head is spinning…I’ve got blisters on my fingers!”

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I had to turn down the brightness on my computer screen. It is making my head feel fuzzy. I would like to take a long break from technology. No computer, no phone, nothing! Maybe then the little monsters crawling around inside my skull would go back to sleep. It would be nice to do anything that does not require a screen but, alas, I cannot completely sign off…yet…

We have been extra zombie like here at Monkey House lately. We are in the final stages of getting a new site up, completing new designs, and not to mention it is the holiday season! HEAD…MIGHT….EXPLODE.

I hope all of you out there in cyberworld are feeling good and enjoy our newest poster…Image

What’s a Christmas Gram? I want one!

Christmas, Design Studio, forever young, getting old, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Posters, Uncategorized

I know we haven’t had Thanksgiving yet, but Christmas is fast approaching.

I wanted to get everyone in the holiday spirit with one of my personal favorite traditions, watching Elf…

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Is it silly and childish, yes, but isn’t that the best part?

Christmas changes as you get older.

You can’t stay up all night giggling with excitement.

You can’t be the one selfishly ripping open all your gifts.

You can’t eat endless amounts of sweets without suffering the consequences.
I am going to hold on to what I can.

I think Will Ferrell does an Oscar worthy job of reminding us that Christmas is full of magic, sugar, joy, snowflakes, m&ms, maple syrup, unicorns and spaghetti.

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Although I am totally for letting your inner child out for the holidays, you are old now and have responsibilities. So, this is the perfect time, as an adult, to start thinking of gifts for others. We want to help you get that part over with as quickly and easily as possible. Check out our store to get a head start on that shopping at  LE MONKEY HOUSE SHOP

Also…Check out our new poster designs!!

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P.S. Look how weird Zooey Deschanel looks as a blonde….

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P.S.S You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.