I recently watched the show Black Sails. WOWZA. Parents run, don’t walk to adjust your parental controls.

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Let me just say that show has nothing to do with sails. So far, it doesn’t even really have anything to do with sailing. Basically, so far it has just been a lot to do with boobs.

Anyway, I’m not here to talk about boobs. Sorry.

I’m here to start a game…

A game called…

PIRATE or PERSON !!! (and yes, I just made this up)

This game is really complex so pay attention…

I’m going to post pictures of actors as pirates.

Then, I’m going to post pictures of the actors not as pirates.

Lastly, I’m going to judge them on a very shallow level and say if I like them better as a pirate or a person!

Also, I will be numbering each one so if you feel the desire to play you can easily reference the perate or pirson.

yay. let’s begin.

1. Captain, my Captain, indeed.

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Since this is the first time anyone has probably ever played this game, I started with an easy one. Obviously, he looks way better as a pirate. I didn’t even intentionally make the second image smaller, the universe just wanted it that way. Moving on!

2. Speaking isn’t necessary.

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So, I will start by saying I think the internet is actually playing this game with me. Every time I pull pictures the winning one is always bigger. That makes this so much better, and also 100% creepier. Did Obama decide to play people or pirates while he was combing through all my other information ?!

Ok, so obviously she is better in real life. I don’t think this girl has a single line in the first two episodes (which is as far as I’ve watched). Maybe she is a terrible actress and they just brought her on for looks. (I gotta say they put her in the wrong roll if that is the case.) She is always hiding half of her face and sulking. This chick should be one of the prostitutes FO SHO.

3. Meanwhile…George Michael Pirate…

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This poor guy’s character has to be the worst. I mean, seriously they are pirates, not the 80’s. (and yes, I meant to write just the 80’s, as in, the entire 1980’s.)

Anyway, needless to say he is much much better in real life. Sidenote, I would’ve bet all the money I had that this guy played Nick Szalinski from THIS GEM.

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Side sidenote, I would’ve been wrong and still have the same amount of money. none.

Onward…

4. New Orlando Bloom makes this game harder…

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This is a toss up for me, I honestly can’t decide.

Orlando Bloom

yea this one goes way back for me.

5. Swearing like a sailor…. Pirate.

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So this girl isn’t technically a pirate but who cares she looks hotter in real life anyway.

Fun Fact: She drops the F bomb more than the Wolves of Wallstreet. Not very classy lady, but it is a tough pirate world you live in. Carry on.

6. The closest to boobs you’re getting in this blog…

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I have a total girl crush on this one. Which is convenient since she loves the ladies in the show. Don’t get me wrong, she loves a lot of guys in the show too. Really, this girl is just wrapped in a sheet the whole time so it was hard to find a photo of her from the show in actual clothes. Still I think she is better in real life.

7. That’s where the Target dog went…

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Okay okay, the Target dog was a low blow, and even though I do think this man’s facial structure resembles a bull terrier, I will play nice. He definitely looks better out of character. I think the problem with him is he is too many good things put together which doesn’t always leave you with a good thing. He is like ice cream, burritos, and french fries. Equally delicious but not together. Too tan, too chiseled, too much hair, too much.

8. Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

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I heard they got Lionel Richie’s hair stylist for the show.

Fun fact:  This guy always seems to wear huge necklaces in real life.

9. Good actors never break character.

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Then, there are those people who look like pirates all the time. Showered pirates.

10. It’s a pirate party…

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The cast of Black Sails may be hotter, or at least there are more of them. But Pirates of the Carribbean (the first one) is too close to my heart for me to throw to the side. Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, and Johnny Depp, can’t lose.

Unfun Fact: The first Pirates of the Caribbean is now 11 years old, and that means that I’m 11 years too old to have a hidden poster of Orlando Bloom in my closet which I did shortly after I saw Lord of the Rings.

 

So, at the end of it all, I am just as bad at playing games as I am at making them up. So we don’t have a winner but we have plenty o’ pirates.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

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Advice, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, keep it classy, Learning, LeMonkey House, party

What is important to you?

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Let’s talk about priorities. I’ve personally never been very good at setting them. Priorities speak loudly about what’s important to you. If you claim to love something or someone but they are put behind other things then you are a liar.

So here are some examples of people who make me feel better about myself… LjnLckX pic-dump-36-1 pic-dump-69-10 pic-dump-284-10 pic-dump-324-13 pic-dump-518-10i.chzbgr-1 i.chzbgr-2 i.chzbgr

Now go prioritize.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Bitches love teddy bears.

Advice, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House

I can’t wait for Valentines Day. It’s totes my favesies. I think every girl feels the samsies. I mean what’s better than hearts, chocolates (oh, I hope I don’t look fat!), mixed CDs filled with sexy songs, the color pink, and of course TEDDY BEARS! It’s always been a dream of mine that Prince Charming would ride up to my door and present me with a big teddy bear.
It’s scientifically proven that beautiful bubbly blondes, brunettes, and red heads around the world love huge teddy bears. No girl could resist something that would take up that much space. It would give me something to cuddle with at night when I’m missing my prince. I know all my ladies will agree, ALL of us women LOVE snuggling ALL the time. This huge teddy bear will make sure I don’t have to go a single second without hugging and latching onto something. Girls need security, again, it’s science. Then, when my man finally does get home, after I’ve been daydreaming about him all day, I will be in bed waiting for him with my insanely huge teddy bear! oh yea…
The people at Vermont Teddy Bear have really done their research and figured out the way to a woman’s heart. I know my man really had me in mind when he picked out my 4+ foot teddy bear. Go on guys get the big reward you deserve and give YOUR woman what she has always secretly desired, a teddy bear.

ps.  Vermont Teddy Bear – you. are. the. worst.

pss. This is why relationships end.

 

Or maybe you could think outside that incredible small box of yours….

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

I’ma take your grandpa’s style…

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So I went to the thrift store today.

I don’t want you thinking I’m a snob or that I look down on second hand goods. I’m a big supporter of reusing and repurposing things. I’m also a big supporter of quality products and not a big supporter of mass produced garbage.

That being said, shopping at the thrift store is always an interesting experience. I wish I could speak about it as eloquently as Macklemore but I am struggling to find the words. It is sad that his lyrics “smells like R. Kelly’s sheets…pissss” (even though they are highlighting something awful) are true. Going to thrift stores means  you will have to encounter at least one strange smell. I think the idea of the stores are great and I will continue to go but no one likes having to sift through tons of CRAP to get the decent stuff. Broke people deserve decently run stores too!! While I have found many of my favorite things at the local thrift shop those places always have at least a few “what the hell?!” items. So, I’m going to post a few of my WTH?! finds with you today!

Enjoy…

I’m may not make the deadline for entering my cat photo…

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This thing, I’m thinking its a chihuahua and in case you can’t read it that says $35!!!!!!

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If this is the final product I will get when I learn to sew from this I don’t want to know how.

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This rack, which they took the time to make a special sign labeled  “Holiday Fashions”, only had one weird bag with a duck on it, and maybe like two shirts (neither of which were holiday themed). I get that at one point this rack may have sported the best christmas sweaters a girl could ask for but don’t you think it’s time to take it down?

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At least they took the time to “dress” the mannequins in the latest fashions…

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And the grand finale, in case this place hadn’t scared you enough already…

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In summation, thrift stores need to step up their game. They get high traffic all the time, maybe they could try to make the stores a little more shopper friendly and a little less, well, terrifying. I have a dream that some day I can leave the thrift shop without feeling like I must immediately take a scalding hot shower.

In the meantime if you are looking to do some shopping that doesn’t require protective eye wear and a gallon of hand sanitizer, look no further…

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

WTF… wednesday…thursday… FRIDAY!!

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We made it to Friday! Congratulations everyone. I’m not sure what kind of crazy things this weekend has in store but I hope you all have a blast. Maybe not as much fun as these guys..how-to-enjoy-happy-friday-at-happy-valley-tomorrow-11

but maybe something more like “yea girl, get that third glass of wine!”

be safe

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

 

Christmas changes people. Me. Christmas changes me.

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I like to think I have decent taste. Obviously, most people probably think that about themselves or we wouldn’t have all the tasteless things in the world. I guess what I mean is I don’t watch terrible reality TV or buy frivolous things (I’ve been in a Spencers like once, out of curiosity.) My cell phone doesn’t have a tripped out case and I sometimes get self-conscience about wearing lipstick that is too flashy. I keep things classy and as I said, in good taste.

When it gets to be this time of year, however, I go a little cray cray.

I get it in my head that, yes, I must buy that t-shirt of a tiger dressed in a suit holding a cat, because “what a laugh that will get on Christmas”. Yea, my sister does need that lotion dispenser with the long handle so you can reach the middle of your own back. Obviously, Mom couldn’t live another day without the pillow for your feet that vibrates. I will admit to actually buying each and every single one of those gifts.

Unfortunately, my bad taste and decisions don’t end there. At Christmas time there is more crap on the TV lineup than usual. I mean ABC Family does 25 days of Christmas, which basically means I will be watching absolute garbage for 25 straight days and somehow feel justified. Here are some of the gems that I have indulged in thus far… (and remember we still have 8 days to go)

-Holidaze –

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Yes, the token ice rink scene.

– The Mistle-Tones –

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Featuring the always earth shattering acting of Tori Spelling.

– Christmas Cupid-

ASHELY BENSON, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY, CHRISTINA MILIAN

With a stellar cast featuring Christina Milian and Chad Michael Murray… yes!

– Holiday in Handcuffs –

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Again, all I needed to know was who (Melissa Joan Hart & Mario Lopez) was in this and I was already hitting play.

– 12 Dates of Christmas –

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Okay. I actually liked this one. Was the story line tired? Yes. Was the acting bad? By almost everyone. But, I will support anything with the adorable Amy Adams and the man that will forever be the hottest guy in school, Zack Morris I mean… Mark-Paul Harry Gosselaar.

like a fine wine… (you are welcome ladies)

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Sorry I got a little sidetracked there. I can no longer concentrate. So here is just the titles of a few more Christmas delights to get into this year.

– A Holiday for Love (yikes.)

– Desperately Seeking Santa ( Aren’t we all?)

– Snowglobe ( Wouldn’t you know it, that Christina Milian weaseled her way into another one.)

– Teen Spirit ( Not Smells Like…)

– Santa Baby – 1&2 ( If you can stand watching loud mouth Jenny McCarthy for two movies.)

– Snow – with these two…

MV5BMTY1OTgzMjk3MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjg0MDY5MQ@@._V1_SY317_CR6,0,214,317_(who has time to find their real names?)

– Christmas Caper – (I haven’t actually seen this one, but the title looks promising.)

– Beauty & the Briefcase (with big toothed Hilary Duff)

and…

-Special Delivery (with Andy Dick, so you know it’s good)

 

 

 

Keep it Classy

beer, Britney Spears, classy, cookouts, Design Studio, graphic design, keep it classy, LeMonkey House, nails, Uncategorized, wedding dress, why

The word classy by definition means;

a : elegant or stylish

b : having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior

c : admirably skillful and graceful

That sets the bar pretty high. Maybe that is why most people fall so short when it comes to class. Today, we wanted to give a visual ‘how to’ on the rules of class. We will show you what to avoid when trying to be the classiest guy or gal at the ball.

Treat yourself to a sassy nail color…

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Don’t get any add-ons they offer you…

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Go ahead, enjoy a beer with friends…

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Use a glass…

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…and it should go without saying you should stick to drinking it.

Classy Women

Do have a cookout…

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Don’t use what you brought the groceries home in…

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Do get your dream dress for your wedding day…

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Change your dream…

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Basically stay away from anything Britney Spears does or has ever done…

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There are so many more to share with you, but I can feel my hope for humanity being sucked out of my body the more I go on. I will say if you are looking for more what not to do pictures simply Google:

– Rednecks

– Frat guys/girls

– Candid shots of any celebrity

– Any reality tv show

We hope this blog inspires you to charge into this week with your class flag waving high!

Good luck.

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