So, here is my train of thought…
What day is it?
Three Toed Thursday…
IT’S THREE TOED SLOTH THURSDAY EVERYONE!!!!!
So, it occurred to me that people may not know very much about these amazing creatures. Some people may even be thinking they aren’t cute. Those people would be wrong, obviously, but we will help them reach that decision on their own.
Let’s start with this… (even though it’s nothing new, it’s worth watching again)
Then we move onto cuteness overload…
Sloths are treehuggers…
and hand huggers…
alright they are just huggers in general…
Sloths wear their emotions right out on their fur. This one, for example, is saying… “Who me?”
so is this one…
and so is this one…
This one is saying…”Hmmmm do I really want to eat another leaf?…”
Sloths are wise…
take the elusive bandit sloth for example…
Sloths have their share of problems though…
and they deal with their hangovers much like people…
BABY THREE TOED SLOTHS…
Does anyone else ever picture what the hottest celebrities of today will look like in the FUTURE? dun. dun. dun.
This thought has been creeping into my head over and over ever since Jacqueline Bisset made everyone feel awkward at the Golden Globes.
Sure, her acting totally crazy doesn’t help, but getting older isn’t easy on everyone. Some of the celebs we all used to swoon over have really lost that “it” factor. The people who used to be on the poster you proudly hung on your wall are the same people who would make you pull your kids a bit closer if they passed you on the street.
I mean I can hardly control myself when I imagine Justin Beiber 30-40 years from now. Well, at the rate he is going it might only be about 5-10 years before he starts to look like this…
Now, this is not intended to make fun of old people, okay…maybe just old celebrities. It may be twisted, but I think I get a small amount of satisfaction when I think of how fleeting all that superficial mumbo jumbo is. Go on, just picture Miley Cyrus wearing that same nude bikini but maybe this time when she sticks her tongue out, her dentures go with it.
Don’t get me wrong getting older is a bitch. I don’t enjoy seeing my ass slowly take a downward turn, but the great thing is, it happens to everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t seem so painful if we all stopped putting so much stock into “beauty”.
There are so many things that get better with age. Yet, as a society we still cling to the one thing that doesn’t. Maybe someday we will learn, but for now we can still make fun of celebrities because let’s be real, they want the attention either way.
So here’s to you crazy old celebrities!
As for the rest of you why don’t you invest in something that will actually last….
Like many of you, I log onto Facebook simply out of boredom. There is no easier way to receive your daily dose of both instant gratification and instant frustration. Talking about Facebook is a different blog entirely and we won’t get into all that right now.
I will say today was a banner day for my Facebook feed. Many of my friends had unusually entertaining posts. I figured I would give you all the best so you can post them onto your Facebook instead of that picture of your kid or dinner, or you drinking wine, or you drinking wine whilst feeding your kid dinner. You get it.
Here are my Facebook Highlights….
10.5 MY FAVORITE.
So you see Facebook can be a very interesting thing, but it can also steal your life.
So there’s that.
Now today is a very special day.
ARPIL FOOLS DAY!
As a lover of pranks I thought I would bring you some inspiration today.
Anyone can prank. It doesn’t have to be over the top or expensive. (it doesn’t even have to be April 1st)
So here are a few ideas for you. In case you haven’t pulled on over on someone yet, IT’S NOT TOO LATE!!
If the song ‘Happy’ hasn’t bored it’s way through your skull and permanently etched itself onto your brain then you’ve been missing out. I mean I heard that song at least 6 times today, and each time I just thought “man, I AM happy”!
Then I realize I will never be cool enough to wear a hat like this and I think, “man, maybe I’m not happy.”
There are some people who can just do whatever they want. Pharrell is one of those people. Pharrell could get away with murder, while he wears this hat…
Pharrell’s hats say so much about him, music, and the world…
#1. The military should be taken very seriously…
He is a huge supporter of the military, which is nice to see coming from Hollywood..
Let’s take a closer look..
Wait… I’m getting mixed messages here.
#2. It’s okay to continually wear the same outrageous thing, as long as it’s in different colors…
Pharrell is so cutting edge, he even wears it in RED!!!
#3. Beyonce is super excited about Pharrell’s idea to open a hat store. Jay – Z will own 51% of course.
#4. Anna Kendrick is sick and tired of Pharrell and his smiley hat wearing ass… maybe she is just jealous?
#5. Pharrell was once attacked but a pack of wolves. He killed them all with his bare hands and now wears their fur from head to toe despite temperatures in LA being consistently in the 80’s.
#6. Pharrell and his wife are surprisingly frugal. When they were asked about their marriage Pharrell said “we save a lot of money by sharing all of our clothes. Being the exact same size as my partner is something I knew I needed in life”
#7. Pharrell has a very serious disease called duplicationphia. He is unable to only buy one color of hat. He claims he is on medication, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.
#8. Pharrell does a lot of charity work with the youths in his home town of Virginia Beach. In a unrelated story there have been reports of children’s hats disappearing from that same area.
#9. Like a crocodile that needs to close it’s eyes when it’s mouth is open, Pharrell must close his eyes when he is not wearing a hat.
#10. When Pharrell doesn’t have time to choose a hat, he simply throws a blanket on his head, and it works.
I don’t know about you but I appreciate a good commercial.
Sure, most of the time they just make us angry or we ignore them all together. (unless it’s the Super Bowl) But you can’t deny when you get sucked into a commercial and find yourself actually interested, amazed or even sad you have to give some love to the marketing teams. I will tell you that women tend to be a bit more observant in this matter. Or, maybe we are just more likely to have an emotional reaction to things, at least once a month. I’m just minding my business, eating my third chocolate bar, when WHAM..
and then I’m all…
Subaru people are either genius or in cahoots with Puffs and Kleenex.
That may not be true for all you ladies out there but I know I’m a sucker. For instance, I keep telling myself my next car will be a Subaru just because I love their commercials. I know nothing about Subarus, or cars for that matter. All I know is I have a hard time keeping it together for any Subaru commercial and I would seriously consider them now!
Here are a few more companies I would be happy to ignorantly support just because I love their commercials…
There are so many great advertisements out there. It makes you wonder why things like this are still happening….
or you could take things to the next level like this Thai commercial…
Thanks for ruining my week Thai Insurance.
I can understand why someone with a small budget would end up with something terrible. It’s just puzzling when even decent sized companies still end up with this…
Okay, now let’s dissect that video.
It seems like a well done commercial. Simple idea and straight to the point. So WHY are they getting so much wrong!
For starters, I feel like that guy is hitting on me. Sure, he is a nice looking guy, but why is he just a tad older than he should be. Then, did they just tell him to wear a collared shirt and tuck it in, or was there actually a stylist behind this? Button up your shirt dude. Maybe, get a belt, actually maybe get a new outfit entirely. And is it just me or is his torso way out of proportion with the rest of his body? I feel like walking up to this guy and saying “Oh hey Brad (which I’m assuming is his name), I can’t believe you forgot to shave before your first acting gig in that Trivago commercial, how embarrassing”
All I’m saying is, there are companies who get it, companies who don’t have enough money to even try, and companies that have the money and should know better! We would all be grateful if those people put a little more thought into their advertisements!
Anyway…Let’s end this on a good note…
This may go against everything you learned as a child but it’s the cold hard truth and someone has to say it. As you get older you start to realize you will have to cut things out. There simply isn’t enough time to do the things you need to do, let alone the things you WANT to do. Oh, and also you probably won’t be the president or an astronaut. Just sayin’
Anyway… I wanted to bring this up to help future adults better cope with the fact that they will be able to actually accomplish only a fraction of the dreams and goals they have when they are young, and also maybe a little bit as a cry for help.
Help with my time management. I mean starting my day hitting snooze 7 times doesn’t exactly get things started on the right foot, but gin will do that to you I suppose. Then we have the “to do” list in my brain. A list on which all of the items are battling for the top spot and therefore I cannot decide which to pick. So naturally I pick the worst option.
Take this morning for example. I spent a solid 45 minutes wandering around the apartment. Made two cups of coffee. Then I sat down to take care of business. What business did I take care of? I snapchatted my cousin a clip of a Stevie Wonder “Happy Birthday” video. That’s called prioritizing children.
I need a serious life coaching session.
This is the worst time of year for my time management problems. If it’s even remotely nice outside I will make every excuse in the book as to why I need to just roll around in the grass somewhere. I couldn’t possibly clean my bathroom, THE SUN IS OUT!
I don’t think everyone is guilty of putzing around like me and thank goodness for that. I’m a supporter of the go getter lifestyle, I just don’t seem to have the time to go anywhere or get anything. So, I hope all of you reach the goals you set for yourselves and all your dreams come true.
That being said, today is beautiful and I have lots of things I need to avoid doing.
Holy smokes, I may need therapy after all that. I had to watch a solid 4 hours of the Disney Channel just to sleep after the season finale.
This show really has it all… and when I say all, I mean lots and lots of sex. Now, I have nothing against Woody Harrelson, in fact I really like him, but no way is he getting all that action. There is no reason he would be scoring with hot young girls while his poor wife has to settle for whatever shmuck is drowning his sorrows at the local Applebees. Things aren’t even that backwards in Louisiana….anymore…I don’t think.
Okay, but other than the sex the show still brings a lot to the table. In all seriousness, the cinematography is so well done, the acting is great, and the sets are truly haunting. You know you are doing something right when you can make Matthew McConaughey look super convincing as both a truck stop bartender and badass detective.
The chemistry between Harrelson and McConaughey is something that just doesn’t get old.
Still, as the dark and twisted side of me can’t stop watching shows and movies that are, well, dark and twisted, I still find myself cringing and thinking “Oh boy, I won’t be able to un-see that one”.
I’m sure many of you out there have the same problem. You want to watch these scary things but you’re a big baby and for weeks after a good episode you have to carry pepper spray on your belt and sleep with the covers pulled up to just below your eyes, that is of course assuming you can sleep.
As for me, I have to go finish setting the booby-traps in my house. Sweet dreams!
Who dun it Rust, WHO!!???
Ummm so tomorrow is the first day of Spring.
I thought I would get this time of warmth and new life started with this list…
(even though I don’t know why some of these are suppose to make you happy, or if some of these are even real, but hey, go with it)
It may still be snowy, or rainy and cold where you are, except for you bastards in California, but soon we will all be soaking in the rays! So let’s get ready mentally and BE HAPPY!
Happy first day of spring people! (or at least people that it applies to, for everyone else you will have your time, pipe down)
For those people, I saved my personal favorite….