This one’s for you Ireland!

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st-patricks-day-2014-web-1

HAPPY ST. PATRICK’S DAY EVERYONE!

Here is some Irish stuff…

8_Cliffs_of_Moher_Walking_Hiking_Ireland   Fun Fact: Did you know that in Ireland sheep are the main source of transportation?Discover-Discover-Ireland

 

morning-sun-ireland_35187_990x742

 

Fun Fact #2: Did you know that in Ireland there is one giant tea kettle and that is where everyone in Ireland gets their hot water?

IRELAND 158539569.jpg.width.730

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Fun Fact #3: Did you know all the homes (and castles) in Ireland are made of 100% grass?

Bonus Fun Fact: The houses (and castles) are all built by Hobbits.

 

 

Ireland_Castle_5be2795d347a4f2d81f604fefa0c8135

 

OKAY, now that you know a few FACTS about Ireland here are a couple videos…

Alright! Those videos were super odd choices but if you’re really celebrating St. Patrick’s Day you’re probably drunk already anyway so it doesn’t matter!

Cheers my friends and have a wild, yet safe, night!

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

 

 

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Hollywood is a zoo.

animals, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, people

 

 

 

Soooo, this is pretty self explanatory…

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444bf2f613c1247c6e1e47e0d31782b8 40411794 animal1 Animals That Look Like People-1 F201204191338332641962719 F201204191343032057090093 BRITAIN/ Okay, this one just kills me. That dog. It’s like just one of the girls hanging out, drinking coffee, doing their hair! BEST IN SHOW.Tracy_otter_thumb Imagine that otter speaking like Tracy in 30 Rock. “Lemon. Lemon. Can I be real with you?”tumblr_m7n5jrdD8V1rtagpw url

 

Happy Friday.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

strangers are in danger

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, keep it classy, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Music, Posters, why

Can someone please explain to me why there are certain people in this world that we are completely UN-attracted to. I mean this seriously. Doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, young or old, fat or skinny, what your race is or what your sexual preference is.

There are so many different ways we are attracted to people. Their style, humor, kindness, intelligence, mysteriousness, or maybe we just like there faces. Sometimes we don’t even know why we are attracted to people. We are just pulled towards certain people in unexplainable ways. Like, when there are fries on a plate and you’re already full but you reach for the fries anyway…

No, that was a garbage example of what I’m trying to say. Still, there must be something in our subconscious that makes us pick some humans over others.

But I’m not here to talk about why people are attracted. I’m here to talk about why we sometimes have the strong desire to punch strangers in the face.

I generally try to keep things upbeat here and I strive to show that, regardless of the topic, humor and a lighthearted outlook can bring people together. Even though today, I am doing kind of the opposite. While I think I’m being hilarious and lighthearted when I talk about it the overall message isn’t about unity. It’s about the divide. dun dun dun

I don’t know why this flash of hatred occurs, but I do know I’m not the only one who experiences it. I guess this applies in many areas of life. If you don’t like a certain foods, cars, music, or maybe even a certain fabric pattern drives you crazy. But wanting to punch another human for no good reason deserves a little more attention than cars or fabric patterns. I think someone better start to research why a complete stranger, who has done nothing wrong, can make you cringe.

While I’m confident everyone has these emotions. Let me just say I’m not a bully, or a bigot. I am a completely normal person… who doesn’t lie about judging strangers… and non-strangers, …and children, ….and sometimes pets. OKAY moving on.

I don’t do this on purpose. This is typically how it works….

I’m out to dinner with a few friend having a lovely evening. Then… BAM, I see someone sitting at another table and immediately… BAM BAM… I want to punch them in the face.

WHY?!

I don’t know, that’s why I am asking you guys on the internet. Do you ever feel this way?

**side note: We don’t condone punching or hating for no reason… I was just saying sometimes you WANT to, not that you SHOULD. We are all for love and peace.**

Now here are a bunch of people ( and animals) getting punched… because that’s more fun!

18ixe59vdesatjpg baby-punching-brother blog_punch2 cat_punching_a_dog_13768 kangaroo_punching_woman-11959 Nut-Punching-Bear polls_punch_in_the_face_2409_281815_answer_2_xlarge Punch

beats,bears,battlestar,galactica,cubs,fighting,animal,funny,photography,bears-dcd2ccb570f3f7c7d3e2d6a1ae553257_h crazy-animals-cat-punch-dog

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

There are people who are always moving forward and have no problems with change, but I think everyone has their limits. Kevin Bacon for example…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09q04Dlh7r8

I get it…change is hard.

Life is like riding a roundabout…we start to cling to what we can as much as possible the faster it goes… Then we die…

ehhh… okay, not my best analogy.

merry go round

 

All I’m wondering is, why do we actually have such an aversion to change?

I think we automatically want the younger generations to experience what we did. I’m not sure why. They have way cooler stuff than we ever did. We should just let them do it the new way. Maybe, it’s the only way we know how to relate to them. Like, if they don’t have to walk 50 miles in the snow to school we couldn’t possibly have anything to talk about.

I can understand clinging to some things. We don’t want the future to be a bunch of fatties in front of computers. All I know is, this is a world full of clingy people. We cling to unhealthy relationships, we cling to trinkets, we cling to grudges, we cling to the good old days.

I can remember the one time my tiny, saint of a grandmother reprimanded me. You must be thinking I did something awful to deserve it. You’re wrong. All I did to make her mad was goof off when she was trying to show me the way to properly clean a lamp shade. Yes, a lamp shade. She was a tad OCD. Unfair? Maybe. But it wasn’t about the cleaning lesson. I wasn’t putting any value into the things that had shaped her youth… Sorry Nanie.

Here are just a few examples so you can tell if you are old enough to start clinging to your youth…

If you haven’t wanted to smack a young kid for being a punk, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t looked a fool in front of young people and not cared, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t wanted to take a nap yet today, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t dreaded your birthday, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t thought, at least once, that you should’ve listened to your parents a lot more, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t done the same getting ready routine you always do, but you look different, you’re not ready…

Things will change. We will all be forced to give up on some of the things we never thought we would (like trying to remember things). Let us all take it easy on each other. Because the completely useless younger people need us and they can deal with it because we will be dead soon. See, it’s all fair.

149+cropped old-and-young-people-via-free-range-learning

What are some things you wish the younger generations would still do, have, like, listen to, or watch?

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes

A Cleansing That Doesn’t Require A Toilet.

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I hope my blog the other day, ‘ramblings of a tired, disgusted frumpster‘, didn’t bring you down or leave you feeling dirty. I think we are all in need of a good cleansing of our mind, body and soul after that one…

It’s amazing that we live in a world where so much bad stuff happens naturally and yet we still seek it out. I am just as guilty as the next person but it still makes me wonder. Why do we need/want negativity in our lives?

Why do we create, and watch by the masses shows like The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, True Blood, Breaking Bad, Hannibal, and so many more. Just because our imaginations take us there doesn’t mean it’s good for us. Minus the vampires, zombies, and who knows what else is in some of those shows, a lot of the bad things acted out already happen in real life. So, why then do we feel the need to watch the same terrible things happen to hotter versions of people?

I don’t know. Maybe there are some scientific explanations or maybe it is something spiritual that we will never fully grasp. Either way, I know sometimes I just need a break from watching hot people get their faces eaten off.

So, here is a bunch of beautiful places and things to help your soul.

33-Most-Beautiful-Places-on-Earth-10 beautiful-abadoned-places-rabbit38-20130426-8 beautiful-places-002 beautiful-places-world-10 Cenote-Yucatan-Peninsula-Mexico ng-92 travel-place-for-vacation-7 ???????????????????????????

 

and THIS < click to view someone who already did a better job than me.

and THIS < click here but maybe don’t click if you’re hungry

I hope this gave you a fill of goodness to counteract whatever weird thing you’re going to watch on t.v.

For a nice healthy balance of goodness with a little hint of the bad side…

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

I recently watched the show Black Sails. WOWZA. Parents run, don’t walk to adjust your parental controls.

Image

Let me just say that show has nothing to do with sails. So far, it doesn’t even really have anything to do with sailing. Basically, so far it has just been a lot to do with boobs.

Anyway, I’m not here to talk about boobs. Sorry.

I’m here to start a game…

A game called…

PIRATE or PERSON !!! (and yes, I just made this up)

This game is really complex so pay attention…

I’m going to post pictures of actors as pirates.

Then, I’m going to post pictures of the actors not as pirates.

Lastly, I’m going to judge them on a very shallow level and say if I like them better as a pirate or a person!

Also, I will be numbering each one so if you feel the desire to play you can easily reference the perate or pirson.

yay. let’s begin.

1. Captain, my Captain, indeed.

Image

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Since this is the first time anyone has probably ever played this game, I started with an easy one. Obviously, he looks way better as a pirate. I didn’t even intentionally make the second image smaller, the universe just wanted it that way. Moving on!

2. Speaking isn’t necessary.

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So, I will start by saying I think the internet is actually playing this game with me. Every time I pull pictures the winning one is always bigger. That makes this so much better, and also 100% creepier. Did Obama decide to play people or pirates while he was combing through all my other information ?!

Ok, so obviously she is better in real life. I don’t think this girl has a single line in the first two episodes (which is as far as I’ve watched). Maybe she is a terrible actress and they just brought her on for looks. (I gotta say they put her in the wrong roll if that is the case.) She is always hiding half of her face and sulking. This chick should be one of the prostitutes FO SHO.

3. Meanwhile…George Michael Pirate…

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This poor guy’s character has to be the worst. I mean, seriously they are pirates, not the 80’s. (and yes, I meant to write just the 80’s, as in, the entire 1980’s.)

Anyway, needless to say he is much much better in real life. Sidenote, I would’ve bet all the money I had that this guy played Nick Szalinski from THIS GEM.

Screen-Shot-2013-05-11-at-20.37.29

Side sidenote, I would’ve been wrong and still have the same amount of money. none.

Onward…

4. New Orlando Bloom makes this game harder…

3BlackSails Luke+Arnold+Winter+TCA+Tour+Day+2+aMckgUNX7QTl

This is a toss up for me, I honestly can’t decide.

Orlando Bloom

yea this one goes way back for me.

5. Swearing like a sailor…. Pirate.

Hannah-new-black-sails-666x341hannah-new-at-black-sails-premiere-in-hollywood_1

So this girl isn’t technically a pirate but who cares she looks hotter in real life anyway.

Fun Fact: She drops the F bomb more than the Wolves of Wallstreet. Not very classy lady, but it is a tough pirate world you live in. Carry on.

6. The closest to boobs you’re getting in this blog…

black-sails-15 Jessica-Parker-Kennedy-4

I have a total girl crush on this one. Which is convenient since she loves the ladies in the show. Don’t get me wrong, she loves a lot of guys in the show too. Really, this girl is just wrapped in a sheet the whole time so it was hard to find a photo of her from the show in actual clothes. Still I think she is better in real life.

7. That’s where the Target dog went…

Zach-McGowan-plays-it-to-the-hilt

orig-8493881

Zach+McGowan+Black+Sails+Premieres+Hollywood+2XPdTk-R3crl

Okay okay, the Target dog was a low blow, and even though I do think this man’s facial structure resembles a bull terrier, I will play nice. He definitely looks better out of character. I think the problem with him is he is too many good things put together which doesn’t always leave you with a good thing. He is like ice cream, burritos, and french fries. Equally delicious but not together. Too tan, too chiseled, too much hair, too much.

8. Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

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I heard they got Lionel Richie’s hair stylist for the show.

Fun fact:  This guy always seems to wear huge necklaces in real life.

9. Good actors never break character.

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Then, there are those people who look like pirates all the time. Showered pirates.

10. It’s a pirate party…

black-sails-cast-starz0  pirates

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The cast of Black Sails may be hotter, or at least there are more of them. But Pirates of the Carribbean (the first one) is too close to my heart for me to throw to the side. Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, and Johnny Depp, can’t lose.

Unfun Fact: The first Pirates of the Caribbean is now 11 years old, and that means that I’m 11 years too old to have a hidden poster of Orlando Bloom in my closet which I did shortly after I saw Lord of the Rings.

 

So, at the end of it all, I am just as bad at playing games as I am at making them up. So we don’t have a winner but we have plenty o’ pirates.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, keep it classy, Learning, LeMonkey House, party

I’m starting to think there are too many people in this world. Slash that, I KNOW there are too many people in this world. I’m not saying I don’t think everyone is unique and special and precious and all that jazz, I’m simply saying we could use a plague.

Overpopulation

Honestly, there are so many people that we are starting to look alike. Doppelgangers springing up everywhere!

Image

It’s easy to start thinking the world is small when you go to the same job, using the same route, eat at the same restaurants, and spend time on Facebook day after day. These things aren’t wrong but they can start to give us a false sense of reality. I’m serious about the Facebook one. Has anyone else experienced this? When two friends from the most distant corners of my past will be friends or “like” each others baby photos. I’m all, “How could those people possibly know each other.” Weird.

I got sidetracked there… ah… yes… OVERPOPULATION.

I went ahead an put the link right there for you. If you click on the word overpopulation ^ and it doesn’t cause a little bit of a panic in you then, well, you’re probably a normal, well adjusted person unlike me.

Maybe I’ve watched too many movies like World War ZOutbreakContagion28 Days LaterChildren of MenI Am Legend, and so on. I’m just fascinated by pandemics, epidemics, syndemics, academics (j/k slipped that one in there to keep you on your toes) just any apocalyptic type of event. And when I say fascinated I mean terrified. Whenever I see masses of people I just see this…

 

 

Hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-crowd-Copacabana-beach-in-Rio-de-Janeiro-waiting-for-the-arrival-of-Pope-Francis-2100133

which leads to this…

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and I don’t have one of these yet..

images

 

or these…

images-1

 

I’m still waiting on this to arrive…

images

 

And this….

Zombie_5d579b_2010866

 

makes you wonder why they build houses any other way.

I don’t really know where I’m headed with this blog. Babies are cute, maybe just have less? I don’t know.

This person seems to have one solution…

overpopulation-hunger-games

What are your thoughts on overpopulation?

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, overpopulation

What is important to you?

Advice, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes

Let’s talk about priorities. I’ve personally never been very good at setting them. Priorities speak loudly about what’s important to you. If you claim to love something or someone but they are put behind other things then you are a liar.

So here are some examples of people who make me feel better about myself… LjnLckX pic-dump-36-1 pic-dump-69-10 pic-dump-284-10 pic-dump-324-13 pic-dump-518-10i.chzbgr-1 i.chzbgr-2 i.chzbgr

Now go prioritize.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

People watching is one of my all time favorite things. I think this is a common trait for weirdo, socially awkward introverts such as myself. Writers have attempted from the beginning of time to describe their fellow man. Cavemen used to draw pictures on walls trying to capture the essence of men and women in their natural state. Which, back in those days was probably just a lot of hunting, gathering and celebrating fire making.

Still, after all these years people are still most fascinated by people. Actually, people are most fascinated by themselves, but then other people. Okay, maybe themselves and then food, but then definitely other people. Okay, okay, themselves, food, iPhones, then other people.

Maybe I love people watching because it’s always a unique experience. Maybe it’s because it’s free, or takes the focus off of me which leaves me free to judge other people’s life choices for awhile. It’s definitely not because it’s easier than making real friends…Mom! Whatever the reason, I love it.

There are so many good people watching spots but you have to mix it up or you become that weirdo that is always lingering. The airport is amazing to people watch but for fear of being a suspected terrorist I only take advantage of that spot when I’m actually traveling. The mall is a good one but then there are those pesky kiosk people always trying to curl just one strand of your hair, or put weird lotions on you. I have an idea, how about you don’t touch me stranger, k, thanks. The beach is good but that is for vacation, so I use that time to relax and take a break from the difficult task of people watching. Honestly though you can people watch anywhere.

Where are you right now? The coffee shop? The office? If you are anywhere there are people, stop reading this and just watch them. Give it a few minutes and if nothing happens then you can go back to “working” but if something funny happens let us know.

Now is the perfect time. The weather is starting to get nice again and that means you can go to parks and take advantage of free outside people watching pleasure. I am taking advantage of this beautiful day and sitting by the river and let me tell you it is prime material out today. I have seen the following:

  • A very large man (not fat, just tall and all round huge man) walking a huge great dane which of course had to poo right next to me.
  • The young couple that has been sitting on the banks of the river for a very long time now and obviously haven’t been together too long or the hormones are just raging because they are snuggling so hard it looks like they are feeding on each other.
  • The countless joggers – none of them look to be in very good shape, but it is technically still winter so I will cut them some slack.
  • The group of businessmen who just had to stand right next to me and discuss things a little lady like myself couldn’t possibly understand.
  • The woman who let her toddler (whose tiny legs are apparently faster than her normal human size legs) run into the road, lesson learned (disclaimer – I know this happens and parents try their hardest and since I have no children I will not pass judgement on that one)
  • The policeman who is currently scooping up his horses poo with… I sh** you not (pun intended)… a dustpan. There is a lot of poop involved in my people watching experiences apparently.
  • The family that is obviously on vacation (they could be the real life Griswolds) with a teenage daughter and almost teenage son who aren’t the slightest bit interested in facts about the naval ships. Yet, the daughter (let’s just call her Audrey) seems to be finding tons of stuff to Instagram anyway.
  • The young men, and not so young men, that seem to think it is totally acceptable to gargle their snot and spit anywhere they want… guess what? You’re gross and everyone hates you.
  • The older gentlemen, who reminds me of Sean Connery, that has been sitting on the bench across the courtyard from me, doing his share of people watching. In between the naps he has been taking of course.
  • And lastly, rounding off the day, Chris, the homeless man, who sat right next to me on the bench, despite the many other perfectly good benches available. He waited a very long time before telling me how impressive I was for being able to type so quickly. He also stated rather loudly as a large group of people passed that he has 6 girls, and then after what seemed to be a eternity, clarified those girls are his daughters. I’m fairly confident half of this town thinks I work for Chris now, servicing the men here. Thanks Chris.

So that was my day of people watching. I would keep going but the birds are starting to act weird over my head and I fear more poop will be in store if I stay here. Also, the empty can of Vienna Sausages left behind by Chris is starting to smell.Image www.le-monkeyhouse.com

Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House