We Didn’t Start the Fire…

Billy Joel, birthdays, getting old, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Music, people, Posters

… but Billy Joel did 65 years ago today – and I can guarantee that he (or anyone else for that matter) had no idea he would one day be married, and incidentally divorced, to an uptown girl like Christie Brinkley. Who, no offense, was exponentially out of his league. You make great records, Bill, but a hottie you are not so bravo for pulling that one off…

That’s right, folks, Captain Jack himself turned 65 years young today. Only the good die young, so I can only assume that Mr. Joel isn’t such an innocent man seeing as how he’s still in a New York state of mind.

Slow down, you’re doing fine, Billy.

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Does anyone else ever picture what the hottest celebrities of today will look like in the FUTURE? dun. dun. dun.

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This thought has been creeping into my head over and over ever since Jacqueline Bisset made everyone feel awkward at the Golden Globes.

Sure, her acting totally crazy doesn’t help, but getting older isn’t easy on everyone. Some of the celebs we all used to swoon over have really lost that “it” factor. The people who used to be on the poster you proudly hung on your wall are the same people who would make you pull your kids a bit closer if they passed you on the street.

I mean I can hardly control myself when I imagine Justin Beiber 30-40 years from now. Well, at the rate he is going it might only be about 5-10 years before he starts to look like this…

 

 

 

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Now, this is not intended to make fun of old people, okay…maybe just old celebrities. It may be twisted, but I think I get a small amount of satisfaction when I think of how fleeting all that superficial mumbo jumbo is. Go on, just picture Miley Cyrus wearing that same nude bikini but maybe this time when she sticks her tongue out, her dentures go with it.

Don’t get me wrong getting older is a bitch. I don’t enjoy seeing my ass slowly take a downward turn, but the great thing is, it happens to everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t seem so painful if we all stopped putting so much stock into “beauty”.

There are so many things that get better with age. Yet, as a society we still cling to the one thing that doesn’t. Maybe someday we will learn, but for now we can still make fun of celebrities because let’s be real, they want the attention either way.

So here’s to you crazy old celebrities!

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As for the rest of you why don’t you invest in something that will actually last….

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, forever young, getting old, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, people, Posters, Scary

These videos will have you feeling bipolar… in a good way.?

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, forever young, getting old, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, party, Posters, Shows, TV, Weather

 

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I don’t know about you but I appreciate a good commercial.

Sure, most of the time they just make us angry or we ignore them all together. (unless it’s the Super Bowl)  But you can’t deny when you get sucked into a commercial and find yourself actually interested, amazed or even sad you have to give some love to the marketing teams. I will tell you that women tend to be a bit more observant in this matter. Or, maybe we are just more likely to have an emotional reaction to things, at least once a month. I’m just minding my business, eating my third chocolate bar, when WHAM..

and then I’m all…

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Subaru people are either genius or in cahoots with Puffs and Kleenex.

That may not be true for all you ladies out there but I know I’m a sucker. For instance, I keep telling myself my next car will be a Subaru just because I love their commercials. I know nothing about Subarus, or cars for that matter. All I know is I have a hard time keeping it together for any Subaru commercial and I would seriously consider them now!

Here are a few more companies I would be happy to ignorantly support just because I love their commercials…

Sold.

Sold.

Sold.

Sold.

There are so many great advertisements out there. It makes you wonder why things like this are still happening….

or you could take things to the next level like this Thai commercial…

Thanks for ruining my week Thai Insurance.

I can understand why someone with a small budget would end up with something terrible. It’s just puzzling when even decent sized companies still end up with this…

Okay, now let’s dissect that video.

It seems like a well done commercial. Simple idea and straight to the point. So WHY are they getting so much wrong!

For starters,  I feel like that guy is hitting on me. Sure, he is a nice looking guy, but why is he just a tad older than he should be. Then, did they just tell him to wear a collared shirt and tuck it in, or was there actually a stylist behind this? Button up your shirt dude. Maybe, get a belt, actually maybe get a new outfit entirely. And is it just me or is his torso way out of proportion with the rest of his body? I feel like walking up to this guy and saying “Oh hey Brad (which I’m assuming is his name), I can’t believe you forgot to shave before your first acting gig in that Trivago commercial, how embarrassing”

All I’m saying is, there are companies who get it, companies who don’t have enough money to even try, and companies that have the money and should know better! We would all be grateful if those people put a little more thought into their advertisements!

Anyway…Let’s end this on a good note…

Laugh…

Be Inspired…

And Love…

 

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

 

 

The cold hard truth is…

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Music, people, Weather, why

This may go against everything you learned as a child but it’s the cold hard truth and someone has to say it. As you get older you start to realize you will have to cut things out. There simply isn’t enough time to do the things you need to do, let alone the things you WANT to do. Oh, and also you probably won’t be the president or an astronaut. Just sayin’

Anyway… I wanted to bring this up to help future adults better cope with the fact that they will be able to actually accomplish only a fraction of the dreams and goals they have when they are young, and also maybe a little bit as a cry for help.Fun-Time

Help with my time management. I mean starting my day hitting snooze 7 times doesn’t exactly get things started on the right foot, but gin will do that to you I suppose. Then we have the “to do” list in my brain. A list on which all of the items are battling for the top spot and therefore I cannot decide which to pick. So naturally I pick the worst option.

Take this morning for example. I spent a solid 45 minutes wandering around the apartment. Made two cups of coffee. Then I sat down to take care of business. What business did I take care of? I snapchatted my cousin a clip of a Stevie Wonder “Happy Birthday” video. That’s called prioritizing children.

yep.

I need a serious life coaching session.

This is the worst time of year for my time management problems. If it’s even remotely nice outside I will make every excuse in the book as to why I need to just roll around in the grass somewhere. I couldn’t possibly clean my bathroom, THE SUN IS OUT!

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I don’t think everyone is guilty of putzing around like me and thank goodness for that. I’m a supporter of the go getter lifestyle, I just don’t seem to have the time to go anywhere or get anything. So, I hope all of you reach the goals you set for yourselves and all your dreams come true.

That being said, today is beautiful and I have lots of things I need to avoid doing.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

I recently watched the show Black Sails. WOWZA. Parents run, don’t walk to adjust your parental controls.

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Let me just say that show has nothing to do with sails. So far, it doesn’t even really have anything to do with sailing. Basically, so far it has just been a lot to do with boobs.

Anyway, I’m not here to talk about boobs. Sorry.

I’m here to start a game…

A game called…

PIRATE or PERSON !!! (and yes, I just made this up)

This game is really complex so pay attention…

I’m going to post pictures of actors as pirates.

Then, I’m going to post pictures of the actors not as pirates.

Lastly, I’m going to judge them on a very shallow level and say if I like them better as a pirate or a person!

Also, I will be numbering each one so if you feel the desire to play you can easily reference the perate or pirson.

yay. let’s begin.

1. Captain, my Captain, indeed.

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Since this is the first time anyone has probably ever played this game, I started with an easy one. Obviously, he looks way better as a pirate. I didn’t even intentionally make the second image smaller, the universe just wanted it that way. Moving on!

2. Speaking isn’t necessary.

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So, I will start by saying I think the internet is actually playing this game with me. Every time I pull pictures the winning one is always bigger. That makes this so much better, and also 100% creepier. Did Obama decide to play people or pirates while he was combing through all my other information ?!

Ok, so obviously she is better in real life. I don’t think this girl has a single line in the first two episodes (which is as far as I’ve watched). Maybe she is a terrible actress and they just brought her on for looks. (I gotta say they put her in the wrong roll if that is the case.) She is always hiding half of her face and sulking. This chick should be one of the prostitutes FO SHO.

3. Meanwhile…George Michael Pirate…

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This poor guy’s character has to be the worst. I mean, seriously they are pirates, not the 80’s. (and yes, I meant to write just the 80’s, as in, the entire 1980’s.)

Anyway, needless to say he is much much better in real life. Sidenote, I would’ve bet all the money I had that this guy played Nick Szalinski from THIS GEM.

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Side sidenote, I would’ve been wrong and still have the same amount of money. none.

Onward…

4. New Orlando Bloom makes this game harder…

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This is a toss up for me, I honestly can’t decide.

Orlando Bloom

yea this one goes way back for me.

5. Swearing like a sailor…. Pirate.

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So this girl isn’t technically a pirate but who cares she looks hotter in real life anyway.

Fun Fact: She drops the F bomb more than the Wolves of Wallstreet. Not very classy lady, but it is a tough pirate world you live in. Carry on.

6. The closest to boobs you’re getting in this blog…

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I have a total girl crush on this one. Which is convenient since she loves the ladies in the show. Don’t get me wrong, she loves a lot of guys in the show too. Really, this girl is just wrapped in a sheet the whole time so it was hard to find a photo of her from the show in actual clothes. Still I think she is better in real life.

7. That’s where the Target dog went…

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Okay okay, the Target dog was a low blow, and even though I do think this man’s facial structure resembles a bull terrier, I will play nice. He definitely looks better out of character. I think the problem with him is he is too many good things put together which doesn’t always leave you with a good thing. He is like ice cream, burritos, and french fries. Equally delicious but not together. Too tan, too chiseled, too much hair, too much.

8. Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

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I heard they got Lionel Richie’s hair stylist for the show.

Fun fact:  This guy always seems to wear huge necklaces in real life.

9. Good actors never break character.

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Then, there are those people who look like pirates all the time. Showered pirates.

10. It’s a pirate party…

black-sails-cast-starz0  pirates

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The cast of Black Sails may be hotter, or at least there are more of them. But Pirates of the Carribbean (the first one) is too close to my heart for me to throw to the side. Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, and Johnny Depp, can’t lose.

Unfun Fact: The first Pirates of the Caribbean is now 11 years old, and that means that I’m 11 years too old to have a hidden poster of Orlando Bloom in my closet which I did shortly after I saw Lord of the Rings.

 

So, at the end of it all, I am just as bad at playing games as I am at making them up. So we don’t have a winner but we have plenty o’ pirates.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, keep it classy, Learning, LeMonkey House, party

Respect your elders

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Posters, why

There are many transition periods in life. When we are young we wonder how “old people” could ever be so out of touch with the times. Well for all of you young ones out there (I’m talking 20 and below) things change faster than you could ever imagine.

One day you wake up and realize you have no idea what is going on.
What are the hit songs?
No clue.
What is Bieber Fever?
Is it contagious?
That cartoon has been off the air for how many years?
What the hell does YOLO mean? AHHHHH!!

It’s exhausting trying to keep up with the times.

Moral of this blog:

Be nice to old people because someday you will be just as oblivious to the things that are “in style”. You will be that aunt that buys the Power Rangers toys for your nephew. The grandfather that tries to post on Facebook. The mom that texts something inappropriate without realizing it.

What they never told me was that as you get older you don’t change the way you think you will. You don’t all of a sudden learn all the random stuff old people know. You don’t feel older mentally, you still feel like you are eighteen and should have the energy and time to do what you want. In reality you’re lucky to squeeze in a nap. The perks of being older don’t always outweigh the pains. I’ve found you have to find happiness in the little things. Making fun of ignorant youths, legal drinking, not answering to parents, leaving the bed unmade, buying what you want.

So here I am writing a blog from a smart phone for the first time and kicking modern technologies ass. So raise a glass of wine and toast to not worrying about mid-terms!

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Learning. Daddy Issues. Giraffes.

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Posters

They say you learn something new everyday. That sentiment sounds so very whimsical but it may be total doo doo. I know for a fact there have been days I’ve done more forgetting than learning, days I have actually lowered my IQ. Learning something new everyday should be intentional. If I learn things accidentally in the process of life I’m not going to be upset about it but I think it’s important to take an active approach to learning.

As an adult we tend to become complacent. It’s understandable, we have already put in our time being forced to learn. We get into jobs where more often than not we are doing the same tasks day in and day out. Many of us will do this until we are old. At which point we will sit in “our” chair, clinging tightly to the remote, talking about old dogs and new tricks in a condescending tone. Well to this I say, no thank you. Learning is a privilege and can be so amazing when done by choice. When you take the time to learn about something you’ve always wanted to it empowers you. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you already know. It is a gift no one can take away from you and I LOVE gifts.

So lets get learning! Don’t have anything in particular you wanna learn about today?

It’s okay, we will take it slow and start with something fun……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lets talk about giraffes.

  • Giraffes are the tallest mammals on Earth. Their legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet.
  • They can run as fast as 35 miles an hour over short distances, or cruise at 10 mph over longer distances.
  • A giraffe’s neck is too short to reach the ground. As a result, it has to awkwardly spread its front legs or kneel to reach the ground for a drink of water.
  • Giraffes only need to drink once every few days. Most of their water comes from all the plants they eat.
  • Female giraffes give birth standing up. Their young falls more than 5 feet to the ground at birth.
  • Giraffes learn to stand just 30 minutes after birth and can run with their mothers just 10 hours after birth.
  • A giraffe’s feet are the size of a dinner plate—approximately 12 inches across.
    • Females use their hooves as weapons to protect their young. They are strong enough to kill a lion.
  • Both male and female giraffes have two distinct, hair-covered horns called ossicones. Male giraffes use their horns to sometimes fight with other males.
  • Giraffes are a ruminant, which means they have more than one stomach to help them digest their food. In fact, they have 4 stomachs!
  • A giraffe’s spots are much like human fingerprints. No two individual giraffes have exactly the same pattern.
  • The age of a giraffe can be calculated from its spots. The darker the spots, the older the giraffe.

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Okay, those last three photos weren’t exactly educational, I just thought they were funny.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

What’s a Christmas Gram? I want one!

Christmas, Design Studio, forever young, getting old, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Posters, Uncategorized

I know we haven’t had Thanksgiving yet, but Christmas is fast approaching.

I wanted to get everyone in the holiday spirit with one of my personal favorite traditions, watching Elf…

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Is it silly and childish, yes, but isn’t that the best part?

Christmas changes as you get older.

You can’t stay up all night giggling with excitement.

You can’t be the one selfishly ripping open all your gifts.

You can’t eat endless amounts of sweets without suffering the consequences.
I am going to hold on to what I can.

I think Will Ferrell does an Oscar worthy job of reminding us that Christmas is full of magic, sugar, joy, snowflakes, m&ms, maple syrup, unicorns and spaghetti.

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Although I am totally for letting your inner child out for the holidays, you are old now and have responsibilities. So, this is the perfect time, as an adult, to start thinking of gifts for others. We want to help you get that part over with as quickly and easily as possible. Check out our store to get a head start on that shopping at  LE MONKEY HOUSE SHOP

Also…Check out our new poster designs!!

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P.S. Look how weird Zooey Deschanel looks as a blonde….

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P.S.S You smell like beef and cheese, you don’t smell like Santa.

Forever Young.

birthdays, bob dylan, Design Studio, forever young, getting old, LeMonkey House, Uncategorized

Good day people of the internet.

It is an exciting day here in the Monkey House. (We usually cling to any reason to goof off or justify the special treats we give ourselves.) Today, however, we have a legitimate cause for celebration! It is our Founder, Chief, and Grand Poobah’s day of birth. Let me tell you, she is the man. (and by that I mean she is a hot piece of ass.)

As far as I’ve noticed, the older you get the more birthdays suck. You have…

less time – more responsibilities

less money- more bills

a harder time seeing and hearing – (well maybe just a harder time with all the senses)

wrinkles – and a general lack of elasticity on most body parts

things hurt – hips, feet, most joints, and depending on how many birthdays you’ve had maybe your skin… sorry, please be careful.

memory fades, food softens, you spend more time at the doctors…

the cruelest of all… the gifts get so boring. I knew I was getting older when I received new sheets for a birthday. (it has been downhill ever since)

NOT Today! We are keeping this happy birthday thing happy. While there are some downsides to aging, we strongly believe you can stay young forever. Even though our fearless leader, Raygan, is nowhere near old age, we can already tell she will be just like this lady… YES, this lady.

We encourage you to dance, sing, be goofy, laugh as often as possible, and never give into the oldness! We hope that today brings you new adventures and something to celebrate. After all, about 19 million people are having a birthday today. So we hope you all stay FOREVER YOUNG.

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