Thirsty Thursday Is Old News. Here’s What’s Hot Now…

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So, here is my train of thought…

What day is it?

Thursday…

Three…

Three Toed…

Three Toed Thursday…

IT’S THREE TOED SLOTH THURSDAY EVERYONE!!!!!

So, it occurred to me that people may not know very much about these amazing creatures. Some people may even be thinking they aren’t cute. Those people would be wrong, obviously, but we will help them reach that decision on their own.

Let’s start with this… (even though it’s nothing new, it’s worth watching again)

Then we move onto cuteness overload…

Sloths are treehuggers…

139035897.xqZJlME5._MG_0928

 

 

and hand huggers…

sloth

alright they are just huggers in general…

 

three-toed-sloth-with-child

yet, they are also natural born snipers…487371329_1394640420

Three_Toed_Sloth_Crawling_In_Grass_600

ngm.nationalgeographic

Sloths wear their emotions right out on their fur. This one, for example, is saying… “Who me?”

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so is this one…

babythreetoe-990_60372_600x450

and so is this one…

brady-3_54135_1 (but with attitude)

This one is saying…”Hmmmm do I really want to eat another leaf?…”

Brown-throated three-toed sloth

“yup, I ate it.”MC_Drei-Finger-Faultier

Sloths are wise…

smilig-sloth_2431931k

 

 

 

and mysterious…

Three_Toed_Sloth_by_LeftyRodriguez

take the elusive bandit sloth for example…

three toed sloth

Sloths have their share of problems though…

and they deal with their hangovers much like people…

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

AND NOW…

BABY THREE TOED SLOTHS…

0  6a00d8341c630a53ef0134867e4d73970c 6a010535647bf3970b0115706d2bef970b baby-three-toed-sloth Baby-two-toed-sloth cute_three_toed_sloth

You’re Welcome.

 

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Does anyone else ever picture what the hottest celebrities of today will look like in the FUTURE? dun. dun. dun.

future-city

This thought has been creeping into my head over and over ever since Jacqueline Bisset made everyone feel awkward at the Golden Globes.

Sure, her acting totally crazy doesn’t help, but getting older isn’t easy on everyone. Some of the celebs we all used to swoon over have really lost that “it” factor. The people who used to be on the poster you proudly hung on your wall are the same people who would make you pull your kids a bit closer if they passed you on the street.

I mean I can hardly control myself when I imagine Justin Beiber 30-40 years from now. Well, at the rate he is going it might only be about 5-10 years before he starts to look like this…

 

 

 

070211oldbieber

Now, this is not intended to make fun of old people, okay…maybe just old celebrities. It may be twisted, but I think I get a small amount of satisfaction when I think of how fleeting all that superficial mumbo jumbo is. Go on, just picture Miley Cyrus wearing that same nude bikini but maybe this time when she sticks her tongue out, her dentures go with it.

Don’t get me wrong getting older is a bitch. I don’t enjoy seeing my ass slowly take a downward turn, but the great thing is, it happens to everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t seem so painful if we all stopped putting so much stock into “beauty”.

There are so many things that get better with age. Yet, as a society we still cling to the one thing that doesn’t. Maybe someday we will learn, but for now we can still make fun of celebrities because let’s be real, they want the attention either way.

So here’s to you crazy old celebrities!

417-funny-celebrity-pictures-3 Old-Celebrities Old-Will-Smith--47612_1237372951 stars_00 url

 

As for the rest of you why don’t you invest in something that will actually last….

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

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Inspiration.

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Now today is a very special day.

ARPIL FOOLS DAY!

As a lover of pranks I thought I would bring you some inspiration today.

Anyone can prank. It doesn’t have to be over the top or expensive. (it doesn’t even have to be April 1st)

So here are a few ideas for you. In case you haven’t pulled on over on someone yet, IT’S NOT TOO LATE!!

Try:

THIS

OR THESE

OR THESE

Maybe some of THESE

you’re welcome.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

“It might seem crazy what I’m about to say…”

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If the song ‘Happy’ hasn’t bored it’s way through your skull and permanently etched itself onto your brain then you’ve been missing out. I mean I heard that song at least 6 times today, and each time I just thought “man, I AM happy”!

Then I realize I will never be cool enough to wear a hat like this and I think, “man, maybe I’m not happy.”

Image

There are some people who can just do whatever they want. Pharrell is one of those people. Pharrell could get away with murder, while he wears this hat…

Image

 

Pharrell’s hats say so much about him, music, and the world…

#1. The military should be taken very seriously…

He is a huge supporter of the military, which is nice to see coming from Hollywood..Image

Let’s take a closer look..

pharrell-band-hat-close-up

Wait… I’m getting mixed messages here.

#2. It’s okay to continually wear the same outrageous thing, as long as it’s in different colors…

 

ImageImage

FRANCE-US-MUSIC-PHARRELL

 

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Pharrell is so cutting edge, he even wears it in RED!!!

#3. Beyonce is super excited about Pharrell’s idea to open a hat store. Jay – Z will own 51% of course.

grammys-2014-jay-z-beyonce-pharrell-the-hat-copy__oPt

#4. Anna Kendrick is sick and tired of Pharrell and his smiley hat wearing ass… maybe she is just jealous?

Pharrell Williams, Anna Kendrick Pharrell-Hat-Diary

 

#5. Pharrell was once attacked but a pack of wolves. He killed them all with his bare hands and now wears their fur from head to toe despite temperatures in LA being consistently in the 80’s.

ESKIMO_1

#6. Pharrell and his wife are surprisingly frugal. When they were asked about their marriage Pharrell said “we save a lot of money by sharing all of our clothes. Being the exact same size as my partner is something I knew I needed in life”

Pharrell-CFDA-knit-cap-2012

#7. Pharrell has a very serious disease called duplicationphia. He is unable to only buy one color of hat. He claims he is on medication, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.

images-1

 

#8. Pharrell does a lot of charity work with the youths in his home town of Virginia Beach. In a unrelated story there have been reports of children’s hats disappearing from that same area.

images

#9. Like a crocodile that needs to close it’s eyes when it’s mouth is open, Pharrell must close his eyes when he is not wearing a hat.

pharellxterry

 

#10. When Pharrell doesn’t have time to choose a hat, he simply throws a blanket on his head, and it works.

pharrell-pink-hat

 

These videos will have you feeling bipolar… in a good way.?

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, forever young, getting old, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, party, Posters, Shows, TV, Weather

 

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I don’t know about you but I appreciate a good commercial.

Sure, most of the time they just make us angry or we ignore them all together. (unless it’s the Super Bowl)  But you can’t deny when you get sucked into a commercial and find yourself actually interested, amazed or even sad you have to give some love to the marketing teams. I will tell you that women tend to be a bit more observant in this matter. Or, maybe we are just more likely to have an emotional reaction to things, at least once a month. I’m just minding my business, eating my third chocolate bar, when WHAM..

and then I’m all…

crying-gif

Subaru people are either genius or in cahoots with Puffs and Kleenex.

That may not be true for all you ladies out there but I know I’m a sucker. For instance, I keep telling myself my next car will be a Subaru just because I love their commercials. I know nothing about Subarus, or cars for that matter. All I know is I have a hard time keeping it together for any Subaru commercial and I would seriously consider them now!

Here are a few more companies I would be happy to ignorantly support just because I love their commercials…

Sold.

Sold.

Sold.

Sold.

There are so many great advertisements out there. It makes you wonder why things like this are still happening….

or you could take things to the next level like this Thai commercial…

Thanks for ruining my week Thai Insurance.

I can understand why someone with a small budget would end up with something terrible. It’s just puzzling when even decent sized companies still end up with this…

Okay, now let’s dissect that video.

It seems like a well done commercial. Simple idea and straight to the point. So WHY are they getting so much wrong!

For starters,  I feel like that guy is hitting on me. Sure, he is a nice looking guy, but why is he just a tad older than he should be. Then, did they just tell him to wear a collared shirt and tuck it in, or was there actually a stylist behind this? Button up your shirt dude. Maybe, get a belt, actually maybe get a new outfit entirely. And is it just me or is his torso way out of proportion with the rest of his body? I feel like walking up to this guy and saying “Oh hey Brad (which I’m assuming is his name), I can’t believe you forgot to shave before your first acting gig in that Trivago commercial, how embarrassing”

All I’m saying is, there are companies who get it, companies who don’t have enough money to even try, and companies that have the money and should know better! We would all be grateful if those people put a little more thought into their advertisements!

Anyway…Let’s end this on a good note…

Laugh…

Be Inspired…

And Love…

 

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

 

 

The cold hard truth is…

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Music, people, Weather, why

This may go against everything you learned as a child but it’s the cold hard truth and someone has to say it. As you get older you start to realize you will have to cut things out. There simply isn’t enough time to do the things you need to do, let alone the things you WANT to do. Oh, and also you probably won’t be the president or an astronaut. Just sayin’

Anyway… I wanted to bring this up to help future adults better cope with the fact that they will be able to actually accomplish only a fraction of the dreams and goals they have when they are young, and also maybe a little bit as a cry for help.Fun-Time

Help with my time management. I mean starting my day hitting snooze 7 times doesn’t exactly get things started on the right foot, but gin will do that to you I suppose. Then we have the “to do” list in my brain. A list on which all of the items are battling for the top spot and therefore I cannot decide which to pick. So naturally I pick the worst option.

Take this morning for example. I spent a solid 45 minutes wandering around the apartment. Made two cups of coffee. Then I sat down to take care of business. What business did I take care of? I snapchatted my cousin a clip of a Stevie Wonder “Happy Birthday” video. That’s called prioritizing children.

yep.

I need a serious life coaching session.

This is the worst time of year for my time management problems. If it’s even remotely nice outside I will make every excuse in the book as to why I need to just roll around in the grass somewhere. I couldn’t possibly clean my bathroom, THE SUN IS OUT!

9800133_orig

I don’t think everyone is guilty of putzing around like me and thank goodness for that. I’m a supporter of the go getter lifestyle, I just don’t seem to have the time to go anywhere or get anything. So, I hope all of you reach the goals you set for yourselves and all your dreams come true.

That being said, today is beautiful and I have lots of things I need to avoid doing.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

truedetective_010914_1600Let’s talk about True Detective.

Holy smokes, I may need therapy after all that. I had to watch a solid 4 hours of the Disney Channel just to sleep after the season finale.

This show really has it all… and when I say all, I mean lots and lots of sex. Now, I have nothing against Woody Harrelson, in fact I really like him, but no way is he getting all that action. There is no reason he would be scoring with hot young girls while his poor wife has to settle for whatever shmuck is drowning his sorrows at the local Applebees. Things aren’t even that backwards in Louisiana….anymore…I don’t think.true-detective-episode-3

Okay, but other than the sex the show still brings a lot to the table. In all seriousness, the cinematography is so well done, the acting is great, and the sets are truly haunting. You know you are doing something right when you can make Matthew McConaughey look super convincing as both a truck stop bartender and badass detective.rust_cohle

…bravo!

The chemistry between Harrelson and McConaughey is something that just doesn’t get old.

true_detective_the_locked_room

Still, as the dark and twisted side of me can’t stop watching shows and movies that are, well, dark and twisted, I still find myself cringing and thinking “Oh boy, I won’t be able to un-see that one”.

Job-Search-Fear

I’m sure many of you out there have the same problem. You want to watch these scary things but you’re a big baby and for weeks after a good episode you have to carry pepper spray on your belt and sleep with the covers pulled up to just below your eyes, that is of course assuming you can sleep.

As for me, I have to go finish setting the booby-traps in my house. Sweet dreams!

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

True-Detective-Locked-Room-Recap

Who dun it Rust, WHO!!???

Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Scary, Shows, TV

strangers are in danger

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Can someone please explain to me why there are certain people in this world that we are completely UN-attracted to. I mean this seriously. Doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, young or old, fat or skinny, what your race is or what your sexual preference is.

There are so many different ways we are attracted to people. Their style, humor, kindness, intelligence, mysteriousness, or maybe we just like there faces. Sometimes we don’t even know why we are attracted to people. We are just pulled towards certain people in unexplainable ways. Like, when there are fries on a plate and you’re already full but you reach for the fries anyway…

No, that was a garbage example of what I’m trying to say. Still, there must be something in our subconscious that makes us pick some humans over others.

But I’m not here to talk about why people are attracted. I’m here to talk about why we sometimes have the strong desire to punch strangers in the face.

I generally try to keep things upbeat here and I strive to show that, regardless of the topic, humor and a lighthearted outlook can bring people together. Even though today, I am doing kind of the opposite. While I think I’m being hilarious and lighthearted when I talk about it the overall message isn’t about unity. It’s about the divide. dun dun dun

I don’t know why this flash of hatred occurs, but I do know I’m not the only one who experiences it. I guess this applies in many areas of life. If you don’t like a certain foods, cars, music, or maybe even a certain fabric pattern drives you crazy. But wanting to punch another human for no good reason deserves a little more attention than cars or fabric patterns. I think someone better start to research why a complete stranger, who has done nothing wrong, can make you cringe.

While I’m confident everyone has these emotions. Let me just say I’m not a bully, or a bigot. I am a completely normal person… who doesn’t lie about judging strangers… and non-strangers, …and children, ….and sometimes pets. OKAY moving on.

I don’t do this on purpose. This is typically how it works….

I’m out to dinner with a few friend having a lovely evening. Then… BAM, I see someone sitting at another table and immediately… BAM BAM… I want to punch them in the face.

WHY?!

I don’t know, that’s why I am asking you guys on the internet. Do you ever feel this way?

**side note: We don’t condone punching or hating for no reason… I was just saying sometimes you WANT to, not that you SHOULD. We are all for love and peace.**

Now here are a bunch of people ( and animals) getting punched… because that’s more fun!

18ixe59vdesatjpg baby-punching-brother blog_punch2 cat_punching_a_dog_13768 kangaroo_punching_woman-11959 Nut-Punching-Bear polls_punch_in_the_face_2409_281815_answer_2_xlarge Punch

beats,bears,battlestar,galactica,cubs,fighting,animal,funny,photography,bears-dcd2ccb570f3f7c7d3e2d6a1ae553257_h crazy-animals-cat-punch-dog

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There are people who are always moving forward and have no problems with change, but I think everyone has their limits. Kevin Bacon for example…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09q04Dlh7r8

I get it…change is hard.

Life is like riding a roundabout…we start to cling to what we can as much as possible the faster it goes… Then we die…

ehhh… okay, not my best analogy.

merry go round

 

All I’m wondering is, why do we actually have such an aversion to change?

I think we automatically want the younger generations to experience what we did. I’m not sure why. They have way cooler stuff than we ever did. We should just let them do it the new way. Maybe, it’s the only way we know how to relate to them. Like, if they don’t have to walk 50 miles in the snow to school we couldn’t possibly have anything to talk about.

I can understand clinging to some things. We don’t want the future to be a bunch of fatties in front of computers. All I know is, this is a world full of clingy people. We cling to unhealthy relationships, we cling to trinkets, we cling to grudges, we cling to the good old days.

I can remember the one time my tiny, saint of a grandmother reprimanded me. You must be thinking I did something awful to deserve it. You’re wrong. All I did to make her mad was goof off when she was trying to show me the way to properly clean a lamp shade. Yes, a lamp shade. She was a tad OCD. Unfair? Maybe. But it wasn’t about the cleaning lesson. I wasn’t putting any value into the things that had shaped her youth… Sorry Nanie.

Here are just a few examples so you can tell if you are old enough to start clinging to your youth…

If you haven’t wanted to smack a young kid for being a punk, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t looked a fool in front of young people and not cared, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t wanted to take a nap yet today, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t dreaded your birthday, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t thought, at least once, that you should’ve listened to your parents a lot more, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t done the same getting ready routine you always do, but you look different, you’re not ready…

Things will change. We will all be forced to give up on some of the things we never thought we would (like trying to remember things). Let us all take it easy on each other. Because the completely useless younger people need us and they can deal with it because we will be dead soon. See, it’s all fair.

149+cropped old-and-young-people-via-free-range-learning

What are some things you wish the younger generations would still do, have, like, listen to, or watch?

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes

ramblings of a tired, disgusted frumpster

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You will have to forgive me people of WordPress, internet, and probably the world in general. I am not a valuable contribution to society today.

I am currently wearing a pair of my brother’s old jeans (yes, my brother’s), a weird tie dyed t-shirt, frumpy Nike’s, and a giant knit sweater which I have smushed to fit under my green jacket. I look like I should be in Freaks and Geeks. The worst part is I have been out subjecting innocent people to this get-up.

lindsay

I blame all of this on the fact that I am exhausted. You see, I recently moved and what clothes I have actually unpacked have far exceeded the number of times it is acceptable to wear without washing. This, however, does not apply to my underwear, I’m not an animal!

I know, it’s still gross.

Still, I think I deserve a little slack since I have moved into a building that should probably not be legally allowed to house humans. This giant brick structure was probably once very beautiful and from the outside it still seems promising. The problems only seem to begin a day after move in. You know, just long enough to get you to sign that lease. Kinda like FUNNY FARM or THE MONEY PIT.

I don’t want to complain too much since the building is over 100 years old and holds a lot of character, which I asked for! I guess I’m just hoping to get all this frustration and disgust out in the form of a blog instead of the fetal position whilst crying.

So, back to me bringing the level of sophistication down for the entire human race or at least the people at Lowes. I was asked if I needed help when I was seen shuffling down the same aisles with nothing but a mask in hand. A mask that was probably purchased way too late. I have already done who knows how much damage to my internal organs with the amount of clorox I have used. I picked up the mask as a little treat to myself since what I was really in the market for was wood filler and also because I don’t know where they sell full hazmat suits.

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Wood filler? You may ask. Yes, because I am about to put my new place on lock down.

You see, I can deal with the fact that the place was dirty, and when I say dirty I mean FILTHY. I’m a very thorough cleaner so that is nothing but an inconvenience. The locals in my new town my say “that ain’t nothing but a chicken wing” which incidentally is exactly one of the things I found under my refrigerator. I’m okay with the fact that the people who lived there before me left food in the refrigerator, which was unrecognizable when I finally discovered it. I’m okay with the fact that my office chair with wheels has to be replaced since the floors all slant and I can no longer sit at a desk without rolling into the other room. I’m okay with the fact that the fire escape looks like it would kill you more gruesomely than an actual fire ever could. I’m even okay with the fact that it still has the original windows and therefore if someone drops a pin outside, I’m going to hear it. I’m even okay with the fact that the basement where the laundry is done, and in an act of sheer brilliance by the owners is also where the trash is stored, is a terrifying rape dungeon.

Now, you can tell me if I’m being too snooty about these but I’m not okay with three things about this place. Number one, the weird funk smell. Despite using almost an entire bottle of clorox and round the clock burning of a candles, I can’t seem to mask it. Number two, the shower that only seems to have water pressure for cold water. The hot water just dribbles out of this thing like I should have the audacity to want a semi warm shower that could have enough power to I don’t know, say, get me clean. How dare I. And last but absolutely not least, the bugs. I was horrified on my first night to find little bugs everywhere. Awesome. Spraying was done and I thought “this will get better”. WRONG. I now have small and medium cockroaches. I was told the spraying brings them out but it will help after a day or two. WRONG. So after a night out on the town I come home ready to snuggle into bed when I see the mothership of bugs. I have been warned that there are water bugs here but nothing prepares you for one doing a spastic six-legged dance over your bed.

I grabbed a shoe and a can of bug spray and double tapped that demon bug.

That leads us back to my shuffling around Lowes today. I am exhausted from a sleepless night of twitching and scratching and feeling like a mental patient. I will scrub until my fingers bleed. I will fill every crack in that place. I will harass my landlord. I will win this war. I WILL PREVAIL!!!!!

imagesYOU’RE DEAD.

And when I do, I will finally get to unpack and decorate. I will probably hang a few of these bad boys…

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com