The cold hard truth is…

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Music, people, Weather, why

This may go against everything you learned as a child but it’s the cold hard truth and someone has to say it. As you get older you start to realize you will have to cut things out. There simply isn’t enough time to do the things you need to do, let alone the things you WANT to do. Oh, and also you probably won’t be the president or an astronaut. Just sayin’

Anyway… I wanted to bring this up to help future adults better cope with the fact that they will be able to actually accomplish only a fraction of the dreams and goals they have when they are young, and also maybe a little bit as a cry for help.Fun-Time

Help with my time management. I mean starting my day hitting snooze 7 times doesn’t exactly get things started on the right foot, but gin will do that to you I suppose. Then we have the “to do” list in my brain. A list on which all of the items are battling for the top spot and therefore I cannot decide which to pick. So naturally I pick the worst option.

Take this morning for example. I spent a solid 45 minutes wandering around the apartment. Made two cups of coffee. Then I sat down to take care of business. What business did I take care of? I snapchatted my cousin a clip of a Stevie Wonder “Happy Birthday” video. That’s called prioritizing children.

yep.

I need a serious life coaching session.

This is the worst time of year for my time management problems. If it’s even remotely nice outside I will make every excuse in the book as to why I need to just roll around in the grass somewhere. I couldn’t possibly clean my bathroom, THE SUN IS OUT!

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I don’t think everyone is guilty of putzing around like me and thank goodness for that. I’m a supporter of the go getter lifestyle, I just don’t seem to have the time to go anywhere or get anything. So, I hope all of you reach the goals you set for yourselves and all your dreams come true.

That being said, today is beautiful and I have lots of things I need to avoid doing.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

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strangers are in danger

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, keep it classy, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Music, Posters, why

Can someone please explain to me why there are certain people in this world that we are completely UN-attracted to. I mean this seriously. Doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, young or old, fat or skinny, what your race is or what your sexual preference is.

There are so many different ways we are attracted to people. Their style, humor, kindness, intelligence, mysteriousness, or maybe we just like there faces. Sometimes we don’t even know why we are attracted to people. We are just pulled towards certain people in unexplainable ways. Like, when there are fries on a plate and you’re already full but you reach for the fries anyway…

No, that was a garbage example of what I’m trying to say. Still, there must be something in our subconscious that makes us pick some humans over others.

But I’m not here to talk about why people are attracted. I’m here to talk about why we sometimes have the strong desire to punch strangers in the face.

I generally try to keep things upbeat here and I strive to show that, regardless of the topic, humor and a lighthearted outlook can bring people together. Even though today, I am doing kind of the opposite. While I think I’m being hilarious and lighthearted when I talk about it the overall message isn’t about unity. It’s about the divide. dun dun dun

I don’t know why this flash of hatred occurs, but I do know I’m not the only one who experiences it. I guess this applies in many areas of life. If you don’t like a certain foods, cars, music, or maybe even a certain fabric pattern drives you crazy. But wanting to punch another human for no good reason deserves a little more attention than cars or fabric patterns. I think someone better start to research why a complete stranger, who has done nothing wrong, can make you cringe.

While I’m confident everyone has these emotions. Let me just say I’m not a bully, or a bigot. I am a completely normal person… who doesn’t lie about judging strangers… and non-strangers, …and children, ….and sometimes pets. OKAY moving on.

I don’t do this on purpose. This is typically how it works….

I’m out to dinner with a few friend having a lovely evening. Then… BAM, I see someone sitting at another table and immediately… BAM BAM… I want to punch them in the face.

WHY?!

I don’t know, that’s why I am asking you guys on the internet. Do you ever feel this way?

**side note: We don’t condone punching or hating for no reason… I was just saying sometimes you WANT to, not that you SHOULD. We are all for love and peace.**

Now here are a bunch of people ( and animals) getting punched… because that’s more fun!

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http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

A Cleansing That Doesn’t Require A Toilet.

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Posters, why

I hope my blog the other day, ‘ramblings of a tired, disgusted frumpster‘, didn’t bring you down or leave you feeling dirty. I think we are all in need of a good cleansing of our mind, body and soul after that one…

It’s amazing that we live in a world where so much bad stuff happens naturally and yet we still seek it out. I am just as guilty as the next person but it still makes me wonder. Why do we need/want negativity in our lives?

Why do we create, and watch by the masses shows like The Walking Dead, American Horror Story, True Blood, Breaking Bad, Hannibal, and so many more. Just because our imaginations take us there doesn’t mean it’s good for us. Minus the vampires, zombies, and who knows what else is in some of those shows, a lot of the bad things acted out already happen in real life. So, why then do we feel the need to watch the same terrible things happen to hotter versions of people?

I don’t know. Maybe there are some scientific explanations or maybe it is something spiritual that we will never fully grasp. Either way, I know sometimes I just need a break from watching hot people get their faces eaten off.

So, here is a bunch of beautiful places and things to help your soul.

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and THIS < click to view someone who already did a better job than me.

and THIS < click here but maybe don’t click if you’re hungry

I hope this gave you a fill of goodness to counteract whatever weird thing you’re going to watch on t.v.

For a nice healthy balance of goodness with a little hint of the bad side…

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

ramblings of a tired, disgusted frumpster

Advice, Comedy, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Posters, why

You will have to forgive me people of WordPress, internet, and probably the world in general. I am not a valuable contribution to society today.

I am currently wearing a pair of my brother’s old jeans (yes, my brother’s), a weird tie dyed t-shirt, frumpy Nike’s, and a giant knit sweater which I have smushed to fit under my green jacket. I look like I should be in Freaks and Geeks. The worst part is I have been out subjecting innocent people to this get-up.

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I blame all of this on the fact that I am exhausted. You see, I recently moved and what clothes I have actually unpacked have far exceeded the number of times it is acceptable to wear without washing. This, however, does not apply to my underwear, I’m not an animal!

I know, it’s still gross.

Still, I think I deserve a little slack since I have moved into a building that should probably not be legally allowed to house humans. This giant brick structure was probably once very beautiful and from the outside it still seems promising. The problems only seem to begin a day after move in. You know, just long enough to get you to sign that lease. Kinda like FUNNY FARM or THE MONEY PIT.

I don’t want to complain too much since the building is over 100 years old and holds a lot of character, which I asked for! I guess I’m just hoping to get all this frustration and disgust out in the form of a blog instead of the fetal position whilst crying.

So, back to me bringing the level of sophistication down for the entire human race or at least the people at Lowes. I was asked if I needed help when I was seen shuffling down the same aisles with nothing but a mask in hand. A mask that was probably purchased way too late. I have already done who knows how much damage to my internal organs with the amount of clorox I have used. I picked up the mask as a little treat to myself since what I was really in the market for was wood filler and also because I don’t know where they sell full hazmat suits.

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Wood filler? You may ask. Yes, because I am about to put my new place on lock down.

You see, I can deal with the fact that the place was dirty, and when I say dirty I mean FILTHY. I’m a very thorough cleaner so that is nothing but an inconvenience. The locals in my new town my say “that ain’t nothing but a chicken wing” which incidentally is exactly one of the things I found under my refrigerator. I’m okay with the fact that the people who lived there before me left food in the refrigerator, which was unrecognizable when I finally discovered it. I’m okay with the fact that my office chair with wheels has to be replaced since the floors all slant and I can no longer sit at a desk without rolling into the other room. I’m okay with the fact that the fire escape looks like it would kill you more gruesomely than an actual fire ever could. I’m even okay with the fact that it still has the original windows and therefore if someone drops a pin outside, I’m going to hear it. I’m even okay with the fact that the basement where the laundry is done, and in an act of sheer brilliance by the owners is also where the trash is stored, is a terrifying rape dungeon.

Now, you can tell me if I’m being too snooty about these but I’m not okay with three things about this place. Number one, the weird funk smell. Despite using almost an entire bottle of clorox and round the clock burning of a candles, I can’t seem to mask it. Number two, the shower that only seems to have water pressure for cold water. The hot water just dribbles out of this thing like I should have the audacity to want a semi warm shower that could have enough power to I don’t know, say, get me clean. How dare I. And last but absolutely not least, the bugs. I was horrified on my first night to find little bugs everywhere. Awesome. Spraying was done and I thought “this will get better”. WRONG. I now have small and medium cockroaches. I was told the spraying brings them out but it will help after a day or two. WRONG. So after a night out on the town I come home ready to snuggle into bed when I see the mothership of bugs. I have been warned that there are water bugs here but nothing prepares you for one doing a spastic six-legged dance over your bed.

I grabbed a shoe and a can of bug spray and double tapped that demon bug.

That leads us back to my shuffling around Lowes today. I am exhausted from a sleepless night of twitching and scratching and feeling like a mental patient. I will scrub until my fingers bleed. I will fill every crack in that place. I will harass my landlord. I will win this war. I WILL PREVAIL!!!!!

imagesYOU’RE DEAD.

And when I do, I will finally get to unpack and decorate. I will probably hang a few of these bad boys…

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

I’ma take your grandpa’s style…

classy, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Posters, why

So I went to the thrift store today.

I don’t want you thinking I’m a snob or that I look down on second hand goods. I’m a big supporter of reusing and repurposing things. I’m also a big supporter of quality products and not a big supporter of mass produced garbage.

That being said, shopping at the thrift store is always an interesting experience. I wish I could speak about it as eloquently as Macklemore but I am struggling to find the words. It is sad that his lyrics “smells like R. Kelly’s sheets…pissss” (even though they are highlighting something awful) are true. Going to thrift stores means  you will have to encounter at least one strange smell. I think the idea of the stores are great and I will continue to go but no one likes having to sift through tons of CRAP to get the decent stuff. Broke people deserve decently run stores too!! While I have found many of my favorite things at the local thrift shop those places always have at least a few “what the hell?!” items. So, I’m going to post a few of my WTH?! finds with you today!

Enjoy…

I’m may not make the deadline for entering my cat photo…

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This thing, I’m thinking its a chihuahua and in case you can’t read it that says $35!!!!!!

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If this is the final product I will get when I learn to sew from this I don’t want to know how.

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This rack, which they took the time to make a special sign labeled  “Holiday Fashions”, only had one weird bag with a duck on it, and maybe like two shirts (neither of which were holiday themed). I get that at one point this rack may have sported the best christmas sweaters a girl could ask for but don’t you think it’s time to take it down?

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At least they took the time to “dress” the mannequins in the latest fashions…

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And the grand finale, in case this place hadn’t scared you enough already…

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In summation, thrift stores need to step up their game. They get high traffic all the time, maybe they could try to make the stores a little more shopper friendly and a little less, well, terrifying. I have a dream that some day I can leave the thrift shop without feeling like I must immediately take a scalding hot shower.

In the meantime if you are looking to do some shopping that doesn’t require protective eye wear and a gallon of hand sanitizer, look no further…

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

Respect your elders

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Posters, why

There are many transition periods in life. When we are young we wonder how “old people” could ever be so out of touch with the times. Well for all of you young ones out there (I’m talking 20 and below) things change faster than you could ever imagine.

One day you wake up and realize you have no idea what is going on.
What are the hit songs?
No clue.
What is Bieber Fever?
Is it contagious?
That cartoon has been off the air for how many years?
What the hell does YOLO mean? AHHHHH!!

It’s exhausting trying to keep up with the times.

Moral of this blog:

Be nice to old people because someday you will be just as oblivious to the things that are “in style”. You will be that aunt that buys the Power Rangers toys for your nephew. The grandfather that tries to post on Facebook. The mom that texts something inappropriate without realizing it.

What they never told me was that as you get older you don’t change the way you think you will. You don’t all of a sudden learn all the random stuff old people know. You don’t feel older mentally, you still feel like you are eighteen and should have the energy and time to do what you want. In reality you’re lucky to squeeze in a nap. The perks of being older don’t always outweigh the pains. I’ve found you have to find happiness in the little things. Making fun of ignorant youths, legal drinking, not answering to parents, leaving the bed unmade, buying what you want.

So here I am writing a blog from a smart phone for the first time and kicking modern technologies ass. So raise a glass of wine and toast to not worrying about mid-terms!

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Inspiration. Determination. Perspiration. Awolnation?

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Music, Posters, why

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We want to know what inspires you!

I’ve written before about the power of quotes. I don’t deny they are an amazing tool for sparking creativity or confidence. Still, sometimes is takes more than what someone else says to get the juices flowing.

For me it takes a swift kick in the bum. Maybe for you it takes a compelling image or song. Many of us won’t be inspired to make changes until it is too late. The old sayings are all true. “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”, or “too little too late”, or anything else that makes you want to jump off a bridge you’ve heard it so many times.

Some people seem to have mastered the art of action. Those people who climb mountains, jump off buildings, live with monkeys, work with children, help the sick, go back to school, live in Siberia (see HAPPY PEOPLE) woah. Those people are inspiring. But why? What drives those people?

This is what we want to know! What drives people to do what they do.

Be an interactive part of the human race and leave us a comment letting us know what inspires you to do what you do. Who knows maybe you will be an inspiration to someone else.

So, we have inspiration which leads to determination which usually involves perspiration, which always ends up with Awolnation….

13-Woman-Determined 12268537-determination-on-the-face-of-a-traceur-climbing-the-wall-of-a-high-industrial-building-while-demonst Determination duckling-determination sad-marathon

 

Somehow AWOLNATION created a song that seems to inspire everyone. There are countless videos of people doing amazing things and pushing the limits while the song ‘Sail’ streams in the background.

Okay, that last one is a little off topic, unless you ask the question, “what inspired that person to take the time to create a video like that?” We are certainly grateful someone did.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

Command + Z

Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Uncategorized, why

Good morning! I hope everyone enjoyed their long weekend.

Thank you Mr. Columbus.

Let’s talk about mistakes; We all make them.

I’m quite certain some of you even did something this weekend you wish you hadn’t.

Still, some mistakes are a little more severe than others…

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Some people are just crazy and actually think they are making good choices.

Most of us can agree that while those drunken nights make for the best stories, they also make for the most painful and costly fixes.

If only we had an undo for life…

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…when you are a stranger?

Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Uncategorized, why

They say people are strange, when you are a stranger. Well at least Jim Morrison says that.

Well Jim, I have news for you….

People are strange ALL THE TIME. I am not saying this is always a bad thing. It certainly keeps things interesting.

Some people get a little carried away with trying to push the weirdness factor. “Look at me, I’m different and don’t care what you think”…. please. stop.

I had no shortage of images that would prove my point. Most were not very tasteful and I had a hard time even getting through them so I will not subject others to that.

Here is your daily dose of weird…

I applaud her commitment and decision making skills and a bit jealous she never has to buy or apply makeup…ever…

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It is refreshing to finally see an awkward photo featuring a dog and not a cat…

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This guy actually looks super sweet and cuddley…

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Understandable, who hasn’t been so in love that they wear matching denim and make out for their annual glamour shot?…

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That is a lot of effort for something so pointless…

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Just doing a little sightseeing… thanks for sharing the view with us…

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Keep it Classy

beer, Britney Spears, classy, cookouts, Design Studio, graphic design, keep it classy, LeMonkey House, nails, Uncategorized, wedding dress, why

The word classy by definition means;

a : elegant or stylish

b : having or reflecting high standards of personal behavior

c : admirably skillful and graceful

That sets the bar pretty high. Maybe that is why most people fall so short when it comes to class. Today, we wanted to give a visual ‘how to’ on the rules of class. We will show you what to avoid when trying to be the classiest guy or gal at the ball.

Treat yourself to a sassy nail color…

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Don’t get any add-ons they offer you…

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Go ahead, enjoy a beer with friends…

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Use a glass…

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…and it should go without saying you should stick to drinking it.

Classy Women

Do have a cookout…

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Don’t use what you brought the groceries home in…

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Do get your dream dress for your wedding day…

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Change your dream…

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Basically stay away from anything Britney Spears does or has ever done…

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There are so many more to share with you, but I can feel my hope for humanity being sucked out of my body the more I go on. I will say if you are looking for more what not to do pictures simply Google:

– Rednecks

– Frat guys/girls

– Candid shots of any celebrity

– Any reality tv show

We hope this blog inspires you to charge into this week with your class flag waving high!

Good luck.

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