Bitches love teddy bears.

Advice, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House

I can’t wait for Valentines Day. It’s totes my favesies. I think every girl feels the samsies. I mean what’s better than hearts, chocolates (oh, I hope I don’t look fat!), mixed CDs filled with sexy songs, the color pink, and of course TEDDY BEARS! It’s always been a dream of mine that Prince Charming would ride up to my door and present me with a big teddy bear.
It’s scientifically proven that beautiful bubbly blondes, brunettes, and red heads around the world love huge teddy bears. No girl could resist something that would take up that much space. It would give me something to cuddle with at night when I’m missing my prince. I know all my ladies will agree, ALL of us women LOVE snuggling ALL the time. This huge teddy bear will make sure I don’t have to go a single second without hugging and latching onto something. Girls need security, again, it’s science. Then, when my man finally does get home, after I’ve been daydreaming about him all day, I will be in bed waiting for him with my insanely huge teddy bear! oh yea…
The people at Vermont Teddy Bear have really done their research and figured out the way to a woman’s heart. I know my man really had me in mind when he picked out my 4+ foot teddy bear. Go on guys get the big reward you deserve and give YOUR woman what she has always secretly desired, a teddy bear.

ps.  Vermont Teddy Bear – you. are. the. worst.

pss. This is why relationships end.

 

Or maybe you could think outside that incredible small box of yours….

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Learning. Daddy Issues. Giraffes.

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Posters

They say you learn something new everyday. That sentiment sounds so very whimsical but it may be total doo doo. I know for a fact there have been days I’ve done more forgetting than learning, days I have actually lowered my IQ. Learning something new everyday should be intentional. If I learn things accidentally in the process of life I’m not going to be upset about it but I think it’s important to take an active approach to learning.

As an adult we tend to become complacent. It’s understandable, we have already put in our time being forced to learn. We get into jobs where more often than not we are doing the same tasks day in and day out. Many of us will do this until we are old. At which point we will sit in “our” chair, clinging tightly to the remote, talking about old dogs and new tricks in a condescending tone. Well to this I say, no thank you. Learning is a privilege and can be so amazing when done by choice. When you take the time to learn about something you’ve always wanted to it empowers you. It doesn’t matter how old you are or what you already know. It is a gift no one can take away from you and I LOVE gifts.

So lets get learning! Don’t have anything in particular you wanna learn about today?

It’s okay, we will take it slow and start with something fun……

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lets talk about giraffes.

  • Giraffes are the tallest mammals on Earth. Their legs alone are taller than many humans—about 6 feet.
  • They can run as fast as 35 miles an hour over short distances, or cruise at 10 mph over longer distances.
  • A giraffe’s neck is too short to reach the ground. As a result, it has to awkwardly spread its front legs or kneel to reach the ground for a drink of water.
  • Giraffes only need to drink once every few days. Most of their water comes from all the plants they eat.
  • Female giraffes give birth standing up. Their young falls more than 5 feet to the ground at birth.
  • Giraffes learn to stand just 30 minutes after birth and can run with their mothers just 10 hours after birth.
  • A giraffe’s feet are the size of a dinner plate—approximately 12 inches across.
    • Females use their hooves as weapons to protect their young. They are strong enough to kill a lion.
  • Both male and female giraffes have two distinct, hair-covered horns called ossicones. Male giraffes use their horns to sometimes fight with other males.
  • Giraffes are a ruminant, which means they have more than one stomach to help them digest their food. In fact, they have 4 stomachs!
  • A giraffe’s spots are much like human fingerprints. No two individual giraffes have exactly the same pattern.
  • The age of a giraffe can be calculated from its spots. The darker the spots, the older the giraffe.

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Okay, those last three photos weren’t exactly educational, I just thought they were funny.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

A cure for the Christmas blues…

Advice, Christmas, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, New Years, Posters

The holiday season is over. While the end of such a crazy time can bring feelings of peace and personal space that have been missing for at least the past three weeks, it can be hard to get back to normal. There is that twinge of sadness when the house becomes empty and all that’s left of presents is the paper they were wrapped in. There are no surprises left to give or receive.

Going from one extreme to another always requires some transitional time. And withdrawal from good hearty food, wine, gifts, family, more wine, can be dangerous when done so abruptly. So don’t let yourself or your loved ones suffer. Ease into it by giving more gifts!

Don’t let the post-holiday blues get you down. Treat – yo – self (or a friend) to something unexpected and fun.

Remember, winter can be an amazing time or it can be as depressing as jumping into a pile of yellow snow. So take it slow and buy stuff. 

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Go to http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com and cure your loved ones of their sorrows today!

When I think of Santa, my mind is flooded with happiness.  The feeling of security and warmth is tangible.    I can almost taste the candy canes and gum drops.  I can smell hot chocolate and cookies.  I can feel the tickle of of his beard and the whispering of elves.  That’s what Santa means to me.  Today, I learned this not the case for most children.  The truth is…Santa…is TERRIFYING!

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Don’t be a whiny baby.  The perfect holiday gift is already here.  Order a poster from Le Monkey House… HERE !

Christmas, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Posters

The magic of Christmas!

LeMonkey House

Christmas is right around the corner and I’m finding it harder and harder to control myself.

As the baby of my family I’ve been treated as such and I think I’ve milked that for longer than most.

If I could I would transport back in time to be a child on Christmas morning I would. Nothing beats the “magic” Christmas morning used to bring.

Alas, the you get older the quicker the Christmas “magic” fades and you begin to see behind the curtain of LIES.

No, Santa did not bring those gifts.

Yes, your dad ate those cookies.

Those twinkle lights aren’t so amazing when you are the one untangling them.

Then again there is usually a lot of booze around Christmas time and being old enough to drink in front of Grandma is magical too! So maybe it’s not so bad.

We here at Monkey House want to make your adult Christmas as hassle free and magical as it can be. What could be easier than ordering a custom poster and having it sent directly to you or your loved ones?

Nothing. That’s what.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

Go.

Blueprints

Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Posters, Uncategorized

Our little bumblebee of a boss Raygan has been hard at work lately. After taking some sick days I come back to the studio to find new designs, paper flying everywhere, and our fearless leader crying in the corner….

Okay, okay just kidding. Raygan is rocking Le Monkey Houses world. I’m starting to think maybe I should get sick more often because I am really diggin’ the new designs she has come up with.

The beginning of a blueprint collection…here is one of my favorites…

leather sofa