truedetective_010914_1600Let’s talk about True Detective.

Holy smokes, I may need therapy after all that. I had to watch a solid 4 hours of the Disney Channel just to sleep after the season finale.

This show really has it all… and when I say all, I mean lots and lots of sex. Now, I have nothing against Woody Harrelson, in fact I really like him, but no way is he getting all that action. There is no reason he would be scoring with hot young girls while his poor wife has to settle for whatever shmuck is drowning his sorrows at the local Applebees. Things aren’t even that backwards in Louisiana….anymore…I don’t think.true-detective-episode-3

Okay, but other than the sex the show still brings a lot to the table. In all seriousness, the cinematography is so well done, the acting is great, and the sets are truly haunting. You know you are doing something right when you can make Matthew McConaughey look super convincing as both a truck stop bartender and badass detective.rust_cohle

…bravo!

The chemistry between Harrelson and McConaughey is something that just doesn’t get old.

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Still, as the dark and twisted side of me can’t stop watching shows and movies that are, well, dark and twisted, I still find myself cringing and thinking “Oh boy, I won’t be able to un-see that one”.

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I’m sure many of you out there have the same problem. You want to watch these scary things but you’re a big baby and for weeks after a good episode you have to carry pepper spray on your belt and sleep with the covers pulled up to just below your eyes, that is of course assuming you can sleep.

As for me, I have to go finish setting the booby-traps in my house. Sweet dreams!

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Who dun it Rust, WHO!!???

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Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Scary, Shows, TV

Join us on a magical ride…

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We all know Christmas brings people together. What happens when said people get together is another story. For generations people have been getting the Christmas card wrong.

Who’s to blame for these hauntingly entertaining, sometimes disturbing images that make us chuckle whilst burning our eyes? For some, it seems maybe the intentions were good until the reality revealed something entirely, well, bad. Just bad. Although I find it hard to believe some of these weren’t contrived to be the most horrid Christmas cards ever, part of me is scared that maybe they did happen naturally.

Either way here are a few of my favorite picks (from a category with WAY TOO MANY options)…

Merry Christmas…

I can understand the thought process here… “oh, let’s be santa and reindeer!” … no.

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It is shocking to me the number of nude Christmas photos there are out there. It is NEVER okay…

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I actually like this one, mostly for the dad’s face…

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Here is one of the “it’s too bad to be real” ones, but then I look into their eyes and I believe it. They are really selling it. I think maybe it’s the tiny goat wearing a Santa hat that makes this a top fiver for me…

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These two are classics. I wish I was a member of either of these families…

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Remember tan mom? We found her holiday card…

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Now this one genuinely confused me. I think I might blame a photographer for this one. It’s obvious someone has exploited their the creative control. I mean, come on, the girl in the pajamas is sitting in a bucket, which is probably how she bathes considering they have no teeth and wear those very scary glasses. I imagine a very backwoodsy land lays outside those windows…

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Told ya… so many…

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I. CAN’T. STOP. LOOKING.

Here we go… into the Hall of Fame section….

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Are your eyes burning yet? Go, give them something nice to look at…

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Holy Crap, It’s Friday the 13th.

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It’s no secret that Friday the 13th holds special meaning to any and all horror movie buffs.  It’s like an exciting mini-Halloween, which is another special day for those of us that not only love scary movies, but haunted houses, trails, hayrides and really anything of the haunted nature and the acceptableness* to scare unsuspecting friends and small children.  This Friday the 13th just happens to be a very convenient prelude to Halloween itself, which is only a mere 48 days away.  I’m so excited I could pee.

But, (now I’m gonna’ drop a little history on you…)

The origins of the date (and by origins, I mean the first known mention of it in writing according to my quasi-research on the interwebs) go back about 200 years when it was decided to be an unlucky day.

Why, you ask?

Well, in Italian culture, Friday has always been thought of as an unlucky day.  It’s also specifically noted in The Canterbury Tales** as being an unlucky day to take trips to Niagara Falls or balance your checkbook (people still do this, yes?).

And, we all know, no matter what culture you’ve derived from, the number 13 is just evil, evil, evil.  All you triskaidekaphobians out there know what I’m talkin’ about…

That being said, Friday the 13th???  Holy Schnikes***, people!  Stay inside.  Don’t go anywhere today and most certainly not tonight.  It’s just too dangerous.

But we all know that luck and unluck only effect the superstitious, right?

…right?

Well, I’m here to say that I’ve walked underneath ladders way too many times to count and not only am I still standing, but my luck is just as crappy as it was before.  I hope that makes you feel better, it sure works for me.

Happy Friday the 13th, folks!  Bring on the black cats, broken mirrors and a baker’s dozen of anything delicious.

Cheers.

Crude excuses for footnotes:

*Real word?  Absolutely.  **Written in the 14th Century aka a really freakin’ long time ago…  ***If you don’t know what movie this is from, please stop reading, find out what movie it is, watch it, and come back after you’ve done so.

Here is a poster that is mildly related to this:

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