Does anyone else ever picture what the hottest celebrities of today will look like in the FUTURE? dun. dun. dun.

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This thought has been creeping into my head over and over ever since Jacqueline Bisset made everyone feel awkward at the Golden Globes.

Sure, her acting totally crazy doesn’t help, but getting older isn’t easy on everyone. Some of the celebs we all used to swoon over have really lost that “it” factor. The people who used to be on the poster you proudly hung on your wall are the same people who would make you pull your kids a bit closer if they passed you on the street.

I mean I can hardly control myself when I imagine Justin Beiber 30-40 years from now. Well, at the rate he is going it might only be about 5-10 years before he starts to look like this…

 

 

 

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Now, this is not intended to make fun of old people, okay…maybe just old celebrities. It may be twisted, but I think I get a small amount of satisfaction when I think of how fleeting all that superficial mumbo jumbo is. Go on, just picture Miley Cyrus wearing that same nude bikini but maybe this time when she sticks her tongue out, her dentures go with it.

Don’t get me wrong getting older is a bitch. I don’t enjoy seeing my ass slowly take a downward turn, but the great thing is, it happens to everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t seem so painful if we all stopped putting so much stock into “beauty”.

There are so many things that get better with age. Yet, as a society we still cling to the one thing that doesn’t. Maybe someday we will learn, but for now we can still make fun of celebrities because let’s be real, they want the attention either way.

So here’s to you crazy old celebrities!

417-funny-celebrity-pictures-3 Old-Celebrities Old-Will-Smith--47612_1237372951 stars_00 url

 

As for the rest of you why don’t you invest in something that will actually last….

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, forever young, getting old, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, people, Posters, Scary

truedetective_010914_1600Let’s talk about True Detective.

Holy smokes, I may need therapy after all that. I had to watch a solid 4 hours of the Disney Channel just to sleep after the season finale.

This show really has it all… and when I say all, I mean lots and lots of sex. Now, I have nothing against Woody Harrelson, in fact I really like him, but no way is he getting all that action. There is no reason he would be scoring with hot young girls while his poor wife has to settle for whatever shmuck is drowning his sorrows at the local Applebees. Things aren’t even that backwards in Louisiana….anymore…I don’t think.true-detective-episode-3

Okay, but other than the sex the show still brings a lot to the table. In all seriousness, the cinematography is so well done, the acting is great, and the sets are truly haunting. You know you are doing something right when you can make Matthew McConaughey look super convincing as both a truck stop bartender and badass detective.rust_cohle

…bravo!

The chemistry between Harrelson and McConaughey is something that just doesn’t get old.

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Still, as the dark and twisted side of me can’t stop watching shows and movies that are, well, dark and twisted, I still find myself cringing and thinking “Oh boy, I won’t be able to un-see that one”.

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I’m sure many of you out there have the same problem. You want to watch these scary things but you’re a big baby and for weeks after a good episode you have to carry pepper spray on your belt and sleep with the covers pulled up to just below your eyes, that is of course assuming you can sleep.

As for me, I have to go finish setting the booby-traps in my house. Sweet dreams!

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True-Detective-Locked-Room-Recap

Who dun it Rust, WHO!!???

Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Mistakes, Scary, Shows, TV

There are people who are always moving forward and have no problems with change, but I think everyone has their limits. Kevin Bacon for example…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09q04Dlh7r8

I get it…change is hard.

Life is like riding a roundabout…we start to cling to what we can as much as possible the faster it goes… Then we die…

ehhh… okay, not my best analogy.

merry go round

 

All I’m wondering is, why do we actually have such an aversion to change?

I think we automatically want the younger generations to experience what we did. I’m not sure why. They have way cooler stuff than we ever did. We should just let them do it the new way. Maybe, it’s the only way we know how to relate to them. Like, if they don’t have to walk 50 miles in the snow to school we couldn’t possibly have anything to talk about.

I can understand clinging to some things. We don’t want the future to be a bunch of fatties in front of computers. All I know is, this is a world full of clingy people. We cling to unhealthy relationships, we cling to trinkets, we cling to grudges, we cling to the good old days.

I can remember the one time my tiny, saint of a grandmother reprimanded me. You must be thinking I did something awful to deserve it. You’re wrong. All I did to make her mad was goof off when she was trying to show me the way to properly clean a lamp shade. Yes, a lamp shade. She was a tad OCD. Unfair? Maybe. But it wasn’t about the cleaning lesson. I wasn’t putting any value into the things that had shaped her youth… Sorry Nanie.

Here are just a few examples so you can tell if you are old enough to start clinging to your youth…

If you haven’t wanted to smack a young kid for being a punk, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t looked a fool in front of young people and not cared, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t wanted to take a nap yet today, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t dreaded your birthday, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t thought, at least once, that you should’ve listened to your parents a lot more, you’re not ready…

If you haven’t done the same getting ready routine you always do, but you look different, you’re not ready…

Things will change. We will all be forced to give up on some of the things we never thought we would (like trying to remember things). Let us all take it easy on each other. Because the completely useless younger people need us and they can deal with it because we will be dead soon. See, it’s all fair.

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What are some things you wish the younger generations would still do, have, like, listen to, or watch?

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Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, Mistakes

I recently watched the show Black Sails. WOWZA. Parents run, don’t walk to adjust your parental controls.

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Let me just say that show has nothing to do with sails. So far, it doesn’t even really have anything to do with sailing. Basically, so far it has just been a lot to do with boobs.

Anyway, I’m not here to talk about boobs. Sorry.

I’m here to start a game…

A game called…

PIRATE or PERSON !!! (and yes, I just made this up)

This game is really complex so pay attention…

I’m going to post pictures of actors as pirates.

Then, I’m going to post pictures of the actors not as pirates.

Lastly, I’m going to judge them on a very shallow level and say if I like them better as a pirate or a person!

Also, I will be numbering each one so if you feel the desire to play you can easily reference the perate or pirson.

yay. let’s begin.

1. Captain, my Captain, indeed.

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Since this is the first time anyone has probably ever played this game, I started with an easy one. Obviously, he looks way better as a pirate. I didn’t even intentionally make the second image smaller, the universe just wanted it that way. Moving on!

2. Speaking isn’t necessary.

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So, I will start by saying I think the internet is actually playing this game with me. Every time I pull pictures the winning one is always bigger. That makes this so much better, and also 100% creepier. Did Obama decide to play people or pirates while he was combing through all my other information ?!

Ok, so obviously she is better in real life. I don’t think this girl has a single line in the first two episodes (which is as far as I’ve watched). Maybe she is a terrible actress and they just brought her on for looks. (I gotta say they put her in the wrong roll if that is the case.) She is always hiding half of her face and sulking. This chick should be one of the prostitutes FO SHO.

3. Meanwhile…George Michael Pirate…

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This poor guy’s character has to be the worst. I mean, seriously they are pirates, not the 80’s. (and yes, I meant to write just the 80’s, as in, the entire 1980’s.)

Anyway, needless to say he is much much better in real life. Sidenote, I would’ve bet all the money I had that this guy played Nick Szalinski from THIS GEM.

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Side sidenote, I would’ve been wrong and still have the same amount of money. none.

Onward…

4. New Orlando Bloom makes this game harder…

3BlackSails Luke+Arnold+Winter+TCA+Tour+Day+2+aMckgUNX7QTl

This is a toss up for me, I honestly can’t decide.

Orlando Bloom

yea this one goes way back for me.

5. Swearing like a sailor…. Pirate.

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So this girl isn’t technically a pirate but who cares she looks hotter in real life anyway.

Fun Fact: She drops the F bomb more than the Wolves of Wallstreet. Not very classy lady, but it is a tough pirate world you live in. Carry on.

6. The closest to boobs you’re getting in this blog…

black-sails-15 Jessica-Parker-Kennedy-4

I have a total girl crush on this one. Which is convenient since she loves the ladies in the show. Don’t get me wrong, she loves a lot of guys in the show too. Really, this girl is just wrapped in a sheet the whole time so it was hard to find a photo of her from the show in actual clothes. Still I think she is better in real life.

7. That’s where the Target dog went…

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Okay okay, the Target dog was a low blow, and even though I do think this man’s facial structure resembles a bull terrier, I will play nice. He definitely looks better out of character. I think the problem with him is he is too many good things put together which doesn’t always leave you with a good thing. He is like ice cream, burritos, and french fries. Equally delicious but not together. Too tan, too chiseled, too much hair, too much.

8. Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

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I heard they got Lionel Richie’s hair stylist for the show.

Fun fact:  This guy always seems to wear huge necklaces in real life.

9. Good actors never break character.

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Then, there are those people who look like pirates all the time. Showered pirates.

10. It’s a pirate party…

black-sails-cast-starz0  pirates

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The cast of Black Sails may be hotter, or at least there are more of them. But Pirates of the Carribbean (the first one) is too close to my heart for me to throw to the side. Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, and Johnny Depp, can’t lose.

Unfun Fact: The first Pirates of the Caribbean is now 11 years old, and that means that I’m 11 years too old to have a hidden poster of Orlando Bloom in my closet which I did shortly after I saw Lord of the Rings.

 

So, at the end of it all, I am just as bad at playing games as I am at making them up. So we don’t have a winner but we have plenty o’ pirates.

http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

 

Advice, classy, Comedy, Design Studio, getting old, graphic design, keep it classy, Learning, LeMonkey House, party

I’m starting to think there are too many people in this world. Slash that, I KNOW there are too many people in this world. I’m not saying I don’t think everyone is unique and special and precious and all that jazz, I’m simply saying we could use a plague.

Overpopulation

Honestly, there are so many people that we are starting to look alike. Doppelgangers springing up everywhere!

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It’s easy to start thinking the world is small when you go to the same job, using the same route, eat at the same restaurants, and spend time on Facebook day after day. These things aren’t wrong but they can start to give us a false sense of reality. I’m serious about the Facebook one. Has anyone else experienced this? When two friends from the most distant corners of my past will be friends or “like” each others baby photos. I’m all, “How could those people possibly know each other.” Weird.

I got sidetracked there… ah… yes… OVERPOPULATION.

I went ahead an put the link right there for you. If you click on the word overpopulation ^ and it doesn’t cause a little bit of a panic in you then, well, you’re probably a normal, well adjusted person unlike me.

Maybe I’ve watched too many movies like World War ZOutbreakContagion28 Days LaterChildren of MenI Am Legend, and so on. I’m just fascinated by pandemics, epidemics, syndemics, academics (j/k slipped that one in there to keep you on your toes) just any apocalyptic type of event. And when I say fascinated I mean terrified. Whenever I see masses of people I just see this…

 

 

Hundreds-of-thousands-of-people-crowd-Copacabana-beach-in-Rio-de-Janeiro-waiting-for-the-arrival-of-Pope-Francis-2100133

which leads to this…

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and I don’t have one of these yet..

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or these…

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I’m still waiting on this to arrive…

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And this….

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makes you wonder why they build houses any other way.

I don’t really know where I’m headed with this blog. Babies are cute, maybe just have less? I don’t know.

This person seems to have one solution…

overpopulation-hunger-games

What are your thoughts on overpopulation?

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Advice, Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, Learning, LeMonkey House, overpopulation

People watching is one of my all time favorite things. I think this is a common trait for weirdo, socially awkward introverts such as myself. Writers have attempted from the beginning of time to describe their fellow man. Cavemen used to draw pictures on walls trying to capture the essence of men and women in their natural state. Which, back in those days was probably just a lot of hunting, gathering and celebrating fire making.

Still, after all these years people are still most fascinated by people. Actually, people are most fascinated by themselves, but then other people. Okay, maybe themselves and then food, but then definitely other people. Okay, okay, themselves, food, iPhones, then other people.

Maybe I love people watching because it’s always a unique experience. Maybe it’s because it’s free, or takes the focus off of me which leaves me free to judge other people’s life choices for awhile. It’s definitely not because it’s easier than making real friends…Mom! Whatever the reason, I love it.

There are so many good people watching spots but you have to mix it up or you become that weirdo that is always lingering. The airport is amazing to people watch but for fear of being a suspected terrorist I only take advantage of that spot when I’m actually traveling. The mall is a good one but then there are those pesky kiosk people always trying to curl just one strand of your hair, or put weird lotions on you. I have an idea, how about you don’t touch me stranger, k, thanks. The beach is good but that is for vacation, so I use that time to relax and take a break from the difficult task of people watching. Honestly though you can people watch anywhere.

Where are you right now? The coffee shop? The office? If you are anywhere there are people, stop reading this and just watch them. Give it a few minutes and if nothing happens then you can go back to “working” but if something funny happens let us know.

Now is the perfect time. The weather is starting to get nice again and that means you can go to parks and take advantage of free outside people watching pleasure. I am taking advantage of this beautiful day and sitting by the river and let me tell you it is prime material out today. I have seen the following:

  • A very large man (not fat, just tall and all round huge man) walking a huge great dane which of course had to poo right next to me.
  • The young couple that has been sitting on the banks of the river for a very long time now and obviously haven’t been together too long or the hormones are just raging because they are snuggling so hard it looks like they are feeding on each other.
  • The countless joggers – none of them look to be in very good shape, but it is technically still winter so I will cut them some slack.
  • The group of businessmen who just had to stand right next to me and discuss things a little lady like myself couldn’t possibly understand.
  • The woman who let her toddler (whose tiny legs are apparently faster than her normal human size legs) run into the road, lesson learned (disclaimer – I know this happens and parents try their hardest and since I have no children I will not pass judgement on that one)
  • The policeman who is currently scooping up his horses poo with… I sh** you not (pun intended)… a dustpan. There is a lot of poop involved in my people watching experiences apparently.
  • The family that is obviously on vacation (they could be the real life Griswolds) with a teenage daughter and almost teenage son who aren’t the slightest bit interested in facts about the naval ships. Yet, the daughter (let’s just call her Audrey) seems to be finding tons of stuff to Instagram anyway.
  • The young men, and not so young men, that seem to think it is totally acceptable to gargle their snot and spit anywhere they want… guess what? You’re gross and everyone hates you.
  • The older gentlemen, who reminds me of Sean Connery, that has been sitting on the bench across the courtyard from me, doing his share of people watching. In between the naps he has been taking of course.
  • And lastly, rounding off the day, Chris, the homeless man, who sat right next to me on the bench, despite the many other perfectly good benches available. He waited a very long time before telling me how impressive I was for being able to type so quickly. He also stated rather loudly as a large group of people passed that he has 6 girls, and then after what seemed to be a eternity, clarified those girls are his daughters. I’m fairly confident half of this town thinks I work for Chris now, servicing the men here. Thanks Chris.

So that was my day of people watching. I would keep going but the birds are starting to act weird over my head and I fear more poop will be in store if I stay here. Also, the empty can of Vienna Sausages left behind by Chris is starting to smell.Image www.le-monkeyhouse.com

Comedy, Design Studio, graphic design, LeMonkey House

There is definitely something indescribable about falling snow. The peace and tranquility it brings, the purity of when it lays untouched and the transformation of the landscapes can take our breath away! Is there anything better than finding yourself cuddling up with a good book near a roaring fire? This fairytale snow seems to make our world slow down just a little.

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Still, the reality of snow is something of a different story, the fairytale snow’s evil twin. ImageImageImageImageImage

Snow just makes life harder. I said it slows the world down, it doesn’t stop it. So you still have to deal with the everyday grind, but now you have to layer your clothing until you can hardly move, shovel your car off, become overheated from all the shoveling, while your eyelashes freeze and travel at the pace of a slug to get where you need to go. We here at Le Monkey House just want to make life easier for you. So, don’t brave the elements, stay inside, cozy up and still get that shopping done. http://www.le-monkeyhouse.com

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LeMonkey House

When I think of Santa, my mind is flooded with happiness.  The feeling of security and warmth is tangible.    I can almost taste the candy canes and gum drops.  I can smell hot chocolate and cookies.  I can feel the tickle of of his beard and the whispering of elves.  That’s what Santa means to me.  Today, I learned this not the case for most children.  The truth is…Santa…is TERRIFYING!

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Don’t be a whiny baby.  The perfect holiday gift is already here.  Order a poster from Le Monkey House… HERE !

Christmas, graphic design, LeMonkey House, Posters